Young Writers Society

Hey friend! I remember this poem from the Freeverse competition a couple of months ago. It really stood out to me, and it was phenomenal to read! I didn't realize that you actually published it on the site. So now, I'm so happy to leave you a review! Let's jump right in:

My first impression: this poem follows the typical structure of a recipe to make something. You start by listing all of the ingredients, and how much of them we need. Then, after that, we get all the steps to finally make this thing, except, what you are teaching us how to make is called the recipe of disaster. To me, I interpret this as being a recipe that a lot of people using their own lives, or things that they do to cause this downward spiral of emotions towards themselves and others.

I love your attention to detail:

Add loving you. Cry at how much more I did for you.

Garnish with you would never let me. Accept that I could have never been good enough for you.

Hello there!!!
I really like this. If I had to describe it in 3 words I would say Unique, Interesting, and Unexpected.
Why Unique? I love how you actually put it in recipe form and not just a regular story and the measurements are such a great add-on.
Why Interesting? Like I said earlier the measurements and steps are so interesting,
Why Unexpected? Honestly I thought this was going to be a story but it was an actual recipe.
You had the ingredients, the measurements, and the steps which was unexpected.
Overall AMAZING!!!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review as promiseddd!

Anyway let's get right to it,

This is a really powerful piece that you've got here. The sheer emotions that are on display are quite incredible. Its a really powerful mix of how direct your wording is in most places but how they get even more meaning if you pay a little closer attention to the actual direction of the recipe.

Its pretty incredible how you've managed to combine something that could out of context pass for a recipe and used that kind of language to convey an entire different message of powerful anguish and a love that only hurt the person writing this poem. The part that really I think resonates is how you start with this person going on about how they were lied to and how they put in so much work, much more work than was put back, but you have it end with the person thinking they weren't good enough.

It really outlines just how incredibly toxic things were in this, in that the person who actually did far too much to try and maintain this horrible relationship ends up getting treated so bad they still seem to blame themselves for how badly it went. I think that's really my favorite line as a result.

Your main body builds up such a powerful image showcasing so much pain and the effort this person went through but its that last line that ties it all together and hammer home just how horrendous this situation happens to be.

Overall, a really powerful thing to read this. Leave you reeling a little when you first get hit by it and then reading it again to inspect it closer just keeps on making it more and more powerful. Very nice done!

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate

First off, this is absolutely beautiful.
I love the creativity of putting the hurt of a past relationship into the form of a recipe.
I really love how all of the different parts of the hurt became different ingredients in the recipe. My favorites are probably "Freshly Bottled Tears", "Loving You", and "Why Did You Do This to Me." Those are the ingredients that I connected with most, although I totally connected with this poem. To be honest, this was really what I needed to help me.
The one suggestion I have is regarding the "Months Together." It doesn't really say what it does with them in the end, and you could say that you just decorate the end result with them or something. Either way, it still makes sense to cut them in half.
Another one of my favorite parts is the last step, especially the second part.
"Garnish with you would never let me. Accept that I could have never been good enough for you." This line closes the piece up very nicely. It's slightly blunt (but in a good way). It's to the point but also displays a lot of emotion that was building up throughout the piece.
Honestly, I never knew a recipe could have so much emotion.
This is really wonderful!
You're amazing; never give up! Have a great day/night!

Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I first want to say that this is such a creative way to display this premise. It is very clever however I do feel some of the phrases you employ are kind of overused ( I apologize if this is based on real events). For me, the I Could Fix You takes it me out of the poem mostly due to its use in Young adult books rather than life. Yet I don't know what would I substitute it for, maybe something like You should have let me in.

overall, I really enjoyed this It's quite smart keep it up and drink water!

Wist, you're a natural! This is so beautiful <3