Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
I kneel at your feet, back arched and eyes glazed over. You click a collar tightly against my neck. I can't quite breathe right, but it's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.
And that's how I became your pet, your bitch on a leash. Any sane person would tell me that's not a place to be. But I don't think I was sane when you looked at me. You would kneel beside me, and hold my chin until I cried from the burn of contact. You picked a stray: scratched and a little lonely. You washed away the timidness with lavender shampoo and trimmed away the mats of distrust until only dependence remained.
You trace a thumb across my lips and smile. Your eyes unzip my skin so you can get to the nerves and send electricty down my spine. I hate the attention, but it's better than being alone.
I'm a sick mutt. Spent my whole life getting kicked black and blue that anything less obvious felt like heaven. Your floor was softer than my mother's scorn and your feather caresses down my stomach didn't hurt like my stepfather's hands. I craved every moment of you like a dog begging for choclate. The burn in my throat was worth the pleasure of getting what I wanted.
I try to shakily stand to my feet and sweep my legs from under me. You tug on the leash until I see spots in my vision. I simper against your thigh so you'll let go but I sleep wheezing that night.
I try to wash the mark of the collar with boiling water and mint bodywash. But you can't wash out scars and I can still feel every path your fingers traced across my body. It's the night after a full moon and I'm a werewolf ashamed of the animal in my ribcage. I want to peel myself in layers so the girl who yipped and whimpered for you isn't me. But she's still behind my eyes, begging to go back to you.
You're sleeping. I raise my human hands and undo the collar. It doesn't make a sound when it hits the floor. I wish it did for some finality. I leave without a goodbye, without rousing you and letting you know. I let you sleep through the night without telling you it's the last day to see me.
I try not to wonder what you did when you woke up to an empty dogbed and a full water dish. Did you mourn me? Did you curse my name? Did you just sigh and bring another bitch into your living room to tame? Will I ever see you again?
The tug of your leash still feels like home. I don't know how to take in a full breath. Some nights, I want to open my window and howl until you hear me and take me back in. But I keep the latch closed and sing until the sun comes up and I feel human again.
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
This is a prose poem! It doesn't have the traditional line breaks of a poem. This is intentional <33
Goodness, Wist, this is beautiful and gritty and ugly and I love it.
I think the part about this prose piece that I love most is the italicized versus non-italicized paragraphs. It starts off as a story, and, in between that story, you added depth and context and thoughts. And it all flows together so nicely. Another thing of note is that, in my mind, I read italicized words differently than regular text. It's almost... quieter. The italicized text is written very literally. This happens, this happens, this happens, this happens. It's an interesting juxtaposition with the regular text paragraphs.
The other thing of note is the transition from dog to human. And there are so many references to this transition throughout the piece. I really like the parallel between the lavender shampoo and the mint body wash (Which again goes back to the transition of dog to human). I'm not sure if there's a meaning behind the lavender and mint, but I made the connection that the narrator wants to be rid of the lavender scent, thus making a change to a mint scent. Interestingly enough, lavender is technically a type of mint. Is there a connection there, or is it just a coincidence? I guess we'll never know.
The other aspect of this transition is the blatant "I raise my human hands and undo the collar." This was interesting because it seemed to be the first human indication in the italicized text. And then again, at the end, the last clause is "I feel human again." What a powerful last line, truly.
Seriously a powerful first line. The fact that such an inhumane act seems to be "the sweetest thing anyone's ever done" for the narrator is heartbreaking. It's also written so bluntly, and from the imagery beforehand, it makes me think that the narrator is in a state of high vulnerability, almost like they've given up, and now "only dependence remained." Of course, the antagonist (antagonist? idk what to call them, so they're the antagonist now) built up that "trust" with the narrator to induce that dependence.
I think I went a little feral over this line because I loved this simile. Dogs can't eat chocolate! Chocolate is highly toxic to dogs! Yet, the narrator still craves that toxicity. And to follow that line with "The burn in my throat was worth the pleasure of getting what I wanted" was so powerful. It just extended the metaphor and made it so much more striking.
Ah yes, we again go back to that transition of dog to human. And it's interesting because werewolves are a mix between human and dog. This line has such striking imagery, and the word choice feels almost gritty. It also seems to connect to part of the final paragraph. "Some nights, I want to open my window and howl until you hear me and take me back in." I wonder if those nights are full moons.
I think we always feel better about a situation when we have closure. And the narrator didn't get that. They left the antagonist without a word, without them knowing, and they never got to know... well... anything about how the antagonist reacted. And this is hard for the narrator, seen in the following paragraph with a multitude of questions. Escaping toxicity is hard because you really think that person loved you. Their actions had to have been justified because they loved you. But... why would they hurt you if they loved you? (Spoken as someone who's wondered those exact things). And it feels like it will be an eternal wondering. Because honestly... it probably will be. Which is shown in the final paragraph.
That first line made my eyebrows raise and a breath escape my mouth. The narrator still craves that toxicity (chocolate!). That place with the antagonist was such familiarity, and while it was toxic, perhaps the narrator felt safe with the antagonist. With the dependency they had. And then you hit us with the next line. "I don't know how to take in a full breath." The antagonist still has a hold on the narrator. Still has a lasting effect. Wow.
I truly adore this piece. As someone who's been in a toxic friendship before, it really does feel like you're on a leash and like you have to obey their orders. And those wonderings never really go away. The lack of closure just leaves things open, without any clarity. You encapsulated this so well, and this prose piece is wonderfully striking. Well done.
Keep writing.
- Avian
This is such a beautifully written story and it pains me to say I relate.
I hope things get better, friend <33
Wow! I really love how this story captures such a deep and twisted emotional connection! It’s intense, but in a way that really draws you in. Like, this part: "And that's how I became your pet, your bitch on a leash." is so bold. It sets the whole tone and immediately lets you know this isn’t a typical relationship—it’s so messed up but in a way that makes you curious about why the character feels this way. I love how that line is so raw and unfiltered!
And oh, "You picked a stray: scratched and a little lonely. You washed away the timidness with lavender shampoo and trimmed away the mats of distrust until only dependence remained." This part is just perfect! It’s such a sweet yet dark metaphor. The use of something as gentle as lavender shampoo makes it feel like the character is being carefully molded, like a broken toy being fixed. I really like how you describe that transition from loneliness to dependence; it’s soft, but it has an edge to it that makes you think about how complicated their feelings are.
Another part that really got to me was: "I'm a sick mutt. Spent my whole life getting kicked black and blue that anything less obvious felt like heaven." This is so heartbreaking but also really beautifully written. I love how the character is comparing themselves to a mutt, and you really feel the weight of all their past pain. The way you describe their experience with abuse is subtle but hits hard. It’s such a good way of showing how someone can feel broken but still crave affection, even when it comes with strings attached.
The ending also stands out! "I leave without a goodbye, without rousing you and letting you know. I let you sleep through the night without telling you it's the last day to see me." I love how quiet yet final this feels. It’s like the character finally finds some strength to walk away, but it’s not dramatic or loud—it’s almost peaceful. That was such a good way to end it, leaving you wondering what comes next for them.
You did an amazing job of blending this messed-up relationship with such emotional depth! I’m really impressed with how you make everything feel both dark and kind of beautiful at the same time. Keep up this unique and gripping writing style!
GOOD JOB!
Thank you so much for the review!! I'm glad you enjoyed the style and picked up on the lavender metaphor. It's more subtle, so I was worried people wouldn't understand why I picked lavender.