Is it worse to not know their voice,
or worse to hear their cadence in your head,
to know exactly what they’d say,
they way their syllables round the corner,
the consonants bounce over their laughter,
and you look to the side
expecting the sentence in your head
to spark into the open air.
But they won’t say it,
and you are alone,
so painfully alone.
Is it worse to forget their face,
or worse to have memorized their smile,
the exact places the skin crinkles,
making maps of all of the times they’ve laughed at your stupid jokes,
how their hair openly rebels across their face,
and you want to reach out to brush the loose strands away,
you want to ground them to this moment,
but they phase through your fingers,
and you are alone,
so painfully alone.
Is it worse to block out the memories of touch,
or imagine the way they would hold you,
squeezing you just enough to feel innocent again,
to feel whole again,
to feel home again,
and your comfort paints auroras on your skin,
and you open your eyes to thank them,
only to find there is nothing to thank,
and you pitifully hugging yourself,
and you are alone,
so painfully alone.
Is it worse to crumble into indifference,
or to love them with everything in me,
when love is grasping white-knuckled
to all of the things that make me bleed.
And I cry into my thoughts,
cry into my memories of them,
but is that worse than losing my soft sighs,
my smiling at the sky as l hear a recording of their voice,
the foundation of everything they were,
the foundation of everything we were?
So, I hold on, aching, sobbing, bleeding,
and telling myself losing them would be worse.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Hello my fellow writer :3 this is Aaliyah Laurier and I can't wait to see what you have to offer!!!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This seems to be a poem about losing someone you love, which is among the most painful things another person can experience. I'm deeply sorry for your loss.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I'm going to be very honest and say that this is one of the most beautiful poems I've read on this site! Not very much room for improvements, if at all. It captures the feelings of loss perfectly, and I'm going to see if you have any other works published.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
The third paragraph is my absolute favorite. It was hard to pick, but I resonated with that one the most.
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Thank you so much for reading this review. You are extraordinarily talented. please keep up the good work.
Better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all. Losing someone is painful but the memories you have together is still there. You can still reminisce the good days and be happy for that person you lost.But regret is different. The what ifs that will never be satisfied will forever make you feel empty.
Hello!
This poem is amazing. The narrator describes what its like to love someone even when it is hurting you. Its also about holding on and refusing to let go because being heartbroken is preferable to forgetting them (am I right?)
I love your descriptions of how the narrator is able to remember every little detail about the person they loved. And how they dream about them only to wake up to realise it was all false.
And in the whole of the last stanza, you're asking a question. Its honestly a question I have asked myself ALOT of times. and I agree with you. forgetting them would be worse than aching for them and crying for them.