Hey there TheStormAroundMe. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.First Thoughts1. I don't particularly read or review poetry that often but your title drew me in, so obviously I had to check it. My main wonder coming into this was how you were going to manage the two subjects, even though they are really connected. The thoughts of the one person in the union add a nice twist to it but the sarcasm is a bit bitter, even for the situation. The bitterness of it leads me to believe it was like a very bad (maybe abusive?) relationship between the two people. That's just the vibe I get off of it but if you could point me in the right direction, that would be great.2. The italics are set up a bit funky to me because your selection doesn't follow much of a pattern. I would think for the emphasis you wanted off of the italicized words, you would put one in that format in every one of the spaced out lines. Maybe that's just me but it seemed like each of those statements had a word with emphasis and it would be best to highlight it. Could you once again clear some things up for me here?A Bit More On Point 21. The other reviewer has covered most of what I wanted to say but I did want to explain myself better on the italics thing. Take for instance the line in the quote below:
(shoot up on happiness)
Hi there, TheStormAroundMe! Niteowl here to review. Overall, this is definitely an interesting theme. It's interesting how the speaker's tone shifts from missing the dead person to a more vicious/sarcastic tone in the last stanza. It makes me wonder if the speaker actually cares about or misses the dead person, and their own emotions are unclear. The use of "we" as opposed to "I" contributes to this feeling. I feel left with a lot of questions. What does the speaker feel about this person? What was their relationship? Did the speaker contribute to their death? There's definitely a lot of room for expansion, or at least some clearer hints about these questions. Some nitpicks: I love the line "to bless the union...of your body and the abyss". However, the last line of that stanza is over-indented and it looks strange.
(or maybe just drown)hand you to the ground
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