Her glowing hair
Leaves trails across fingertips
Her voice like lullabies
Siren songs from her lips
Flowers behind her head
Ribbons about her wrists
How can I not paint her?
*
The pallor of her skin
Contrasts the dark of her eyes
She smiles and caresses,
But her mouth spouts only lies
Her dress drapes elegantly
As the clouds across skies
How can I not paint her?
*
The way that she laughs
With some hidden intent
The devil within her
And yet I relent
Though she seems heaven-destined,
She is surely hell bent
How can I not paint her?
*
Consumed in her vanity
Her cheeks seem to shine
A beauty so timeless
That can never be mine
How can a demon
Have a face so divine?
How can I not paint her?
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139,878 Literary Works • 672,785 Reviews
Hello!
I really like this poem. The imagery is so beautiful, but also really describes the meaning of the painting well. I love how you describe the confusion in the sense of: how can something look so wonderful? I read this several times over because it was written so well, and I thought the descriptions were great. I thought "How can I not paint her?" was almost too repetitive, but it doesn't matter too much because the poem still worked really well with the repetition.
Sorry for the short review, but I don't have much time on my hands.
Nice work!
Thank you for reading! I'm happy with any review you have time for.
Evening sir/madam! I'm a fairweather user of this website, however I'd like to review this work.
Ah, the Scarlet Woman! The Whore of Babylon! The Prostitute of Chaos!
The title was immediately noticed by my occultic occipitial lobe.
In regards to the content of the poem, I'm aware that Rosetti's "Lady Lilith" painting was the main muse. I think the poem was superficial, praising, and fluffy as a result. However, you acknowledged this by categorizing it as "Romantic" and including the image, so I can't really dig into that.
I would like to see more of Lilith's story and history included, but that's just my cognitive bias revealing itself. You seem to have the ability to make compulsive seduction, child-sacrifice, and adultery with archangels somehow aesthetic. I'm interested to see where you could take it.
Either way, that's my admittedly useless review. It's our right as artists to tell other artists to piss off, so I couldn't blame you if you did.
Best wishes!
I wouldn't have posted the poem if I didn't want feedback. Thank you for reading!
Hello, TheStormAroundMe.
This is Moonwatcher, and I'm here to review your poem.
Alright, so I'm kind of trying to ignore the painting at the top there. It'd make it kind of biased as to imagery, but even ignoring it you did a great job! I'm going to start off with a nitpick. You don't use any punctuation, yet you chose to use question marks. Any reason you chose to do so? I suggest using punctuation throughout the poem, or maybe removing it altogether. Another thingy, we kind of get the part where you say:
I feel like only saying this once is enough, although I'm sure the repetition is intentional.
You used a lot of imagery, but you were describing an image, after all. But it worked, and I don't need to see the image to visualize anything so much better. I don't have so much to say, but this was an excellent poem. Good job!
Thank you for reading it!