i can’t write pretty
my forte is not occupied with
elaborate compositions
and while others’ handwriting
dances
mine stands still
-
i can’t write pretty
not even remotely
i am a vat of unfounded metaphor
use half-baked similes
like a broken record
absolutely clueless on punctuation;
don’t even know
when to end a stanza
-
i can’t write pretty
because every word i type
cannot match the words of others
why even try
when it will never be
“Sacramento, California”
by Willard
(wish that poem
was mine)
-
i can’t write pretty
because heck,
i can’t even decide
when this
should be done
-
no, crap
that sounds
awkward.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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139,300 Literary Works • 672,526 Reviews
Hey, Dogs here to review!
While I was reading this, a smile sprawled across my face. I couldn't help myself. This poem was so amazing, and so unique. Nothing like I've ever seen before.
I personally love reader unique poems like this, because, duh, it's not the same old stuff.
I did notice one thing. None of the "i's" in the poem were capitalized. Was this on purpose? Please let me know!
I really like how you brought up another poem. Sacramento California, it's really cool how you incorporated another poem into this one. I found it unique and interesting. Therefore, this is something I've never seen anyone do in a poem!
I also like how in each stanza you began with "I can't write pretty." This choice of words is different, and none like I've ever seen before. I especially like the last stanza.
The punctuation was off, but did you do this on purpose to show "you can't write pretty?"
Either way, I think you do write pretty! Just so you know!
I hope to see more unique works form you like this in the future!
Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs
P.S. If you could give star ratings on poems, I'd give this one a 20 out of 10!
Thank you for reading! This poem was a ton of fun to write because I didn't have to worry about traditional poetry no-nos. I didn't capitalize the "I"s on purpose, and I screwed up the punctuation on purpose as well. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Okay! I enjoyed it very much!
Hey, I'm here to review!
I would love to read more of your work, so keep writing!
I want to start by saying how much I enjoyed this! It was so quirky and unique; I won't deny I held a small smile whilst reading.
I'm not familiar with much poetry, so excuse my bad analysis.
In terms of meaning, it was exceptionally beautiful in the sense that it had it's own flare. Despite the repeated phrase of not being able to "write pretty", I found that the bundle and clatter of words was imperfectly mesmerizing in its own right and I marveled at reading the thoughts coming together.
The continued emphasis placed on "I can't write pretty" was a great technique and I thought it really got the message across. It also added to the impression of the person behind the words, I would also say that the ending lines had that same effect.
Although, I would say in terms of punctuation, it needs to be thoroughly revised throughout the poem and also capitalization; where you have wrote "i" it should be "I".
I hope this helps
- Heather
Thank you for reading it! I didn't capitalize the "i" on purpose. I appreciate your analysis of my poem, though!
Ish here to review.
First of all I would like to say that you do write pretty because your words are honest,they mirror your feelings and I believe that is the most beautiful a poem can be,you should always write with your feelings no matter how hard finding the right words can be.
You can work more on your punctuation since that seems to be an issue for you,just like it is for me by the way,I'm working on it too.
I really loved this part
"my forte is not occupied with
elaborate compositions
and while others’ handwriting
dances
mine stands still."
It's definitely my favorite.
I liked the ending too like you just don't know what to do with it anymore.
I would like to see more of your work,keep writing and good luck.
Thank you for reading! In the original poem, the phrase "mine stands still" was written in cursive. YWS won't let me do that. Also, my punctuation is purposely crappy to emphasize my cluelessness. Does it not work? I can fix it if need be.