Bolton 3/15/2023
Shouting
The boys out yell out for scoops
We keep hitting the ball, throwing it up
One of them catches it
They wind up
BOOMP!
A boy gets out
The new scout is still in
His first meeting
Maybe his first game
He's down in The Pit with the big kids
The seniors
The young boy is left with a older scout
An Eagle scout
He hits the ball as hard as he can
We cheer the kid's name, for he might be the first to beat a senior with such little preparing
And then he hits him
The senior sighs, looks up and gets out of The Pit
The young scout is unbelieved at what he did
We all congratulate him
"You shoulda seen him, man! He won his first night here!"
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140,080 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
Hi! This is a random weirdo here to give you a short review.
This is a very short but interesting poem. Now, I don't know much about sports, but I'm assuming it's baseball? (Tell me if I'm wrong, and sorry if I am)
The young scout sure seems talented, especially with so little preparation. Going against older and more knowledgeable kids in sports is unnerving. (I draw from experience; I was once on a basketball team in a similar situation. We didn't have enough players and most of them were older. So was the other team.)
Only one thing I noticed that threw me off a little:
I'm not sure unbelieved is a word. Even if it is, it sounds a little off. Try rephrasing?
In all, this is very well written, and the pace is excellent.
Keep writing!
Thanks for the review! The sport is gaga ball which is a version of dodgeball. I've written chapters on here about a group of boys playing it at a camp.
Oh cool! I'll have to read them.
Great work I’ve read experiences 3 and this is just as good another 5stars I love the consistent theme with scouts and it teaches that everyone can win if they try hard enough I’ve gotta say you’re an amazing writer it’s has an amazing feel like I’m in the characters shoes truly an amazing story this is underrated and deserves more attention
Great work I’ve read experiences 3 and this is just as good another 5stars I love the consistent theme with scouts and it teaches that everyone can win if they try hard enough I’ve gotta say you’re an amazing writer it’s has an amazing feel like I’m in the characters shoes truly an amazing story this is underrated and deserves more attention