Young Writers Society

This poem was almost as if reading a story, a very fascinating story. Writing the exact day even make it seem more interesting. It's really amazing if you're able to create a vivid image in the reader's mind with just a few words, you did great.

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"I stay put

I watch the fire tower over and out of the box

I stare at it, eyes all aglow

My face is hot, red hot"

I love this part, it gives a feeling that is indescribable and yet very fascinating.
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The second part seems very sad. It's wonderful how you were able to mix such a deep emotion with words.

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"Silence for the Man

The Man who was

Taken

Too

Soon"

This part is just beautiful, it lets you know that everyone matters but everyone goes one time too.

You did a wonderful job.

All the best,

Rose

https://rosewriting12.blogspot.com/

I like this a lot. The contrast between the two scenes is stellar. With the first scene, you really put in some vivid description. As a reader, I could almost feel the heat and see the glowing flame of the burning flag. And you put it in such few words. Wow! "Silence Stomp Silence Stomp" really gives the poem a sort of beat that I like. (Especially the repetition of the "s" sound.) Nice job!

Happy writing!

-Kaia

I really like the "alright let's head back inside." That touched me as we can feel such profound experiences, feeling that fire and watching the flag burn, then it's just gone. Wanting to hang on to that feeling so much that you write a poem about it, you know? These poems were beautiful!