She jumped to escape--to rid herself of the shame, the self-pity, the burning hatred that plagued her whenever she looked in the mirror. She jumped because she couldn't take the pressure--the feeling of shackles growing heavier with every nightmare-induced awakening. She jumped because she wanted to. And maybe what she wanted was much more important than what I needed.
A hug, perhaps? Maybe I needed a phone call, a letter--something to remind me that the world wasn't always this quiet and maybe there are only as many stars in the sky as there are trials to take on, but we should keep moving because we still could. I needed to know that I was enough for her, just like she was for me--that I satisfied the abyss in her chest the same way she filled up the cave in mine. Maybe what I needed doesn't matter anymore. Maybe she doesn't either.
With that thought in my head, struggling to wedge itself nearer to my heart, I stepped away from the edge.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,605 Literary Works • 673,549 Reviews
Okay well...
...
...
I am crying.
This is so beautiful. This piece grabs me and does not want to let go. I absolutely love the part about the stars in the sky. Truly amazing and Omygerb. Never stop writing.
Holy wowww. You're too nice
thank you thank you! have a fantastical day.
Sphealwithit here....
This is amazing, you have a talent for writing thats for sure
It almost made me cry it's so sad, I see nothing that went wrong including spelling or langauge or anything really. I think you should defenitly write longer peices, your stuff will definitly keep the reader interested that's for sure.
Keep up the good work
Sphealwithitout....
My biggest problem with longer works is the commitment. I write in fragments, as shown above, so it would take a lot for me to keep going back to add more. I'll try, though!
Thanks a million! Btw, I love your sign-out. It's cool
Thanks
and yeah commitment is an issue for everyone i think 
HOLY CRAP THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
(ahem ahem, let me gather myself)
HOLY CRAP THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
Seriously, it pulled strings in my heart and almost made me cry. How dare you. Aside from this, I really have no nitpicks. This is a really great piece of work, I'm serious. Just the way you wrote this is fantastic. Good job!
Four for you xDarkHeart27x! You go xDarkHeart27x!
Keep writing and stay cool,
GrapeNerd
Oh my, that's fantastic
your review made me smile manically. Congrats and thank you thank you thank you!