Young Writers Society

Hi! It's review day and I am like... way behind in your story. WHOOPS. So I figured I would see how much I could catch up!

Sunny wondered how the variapet could store a negative number. Could a variapet take up negative space? What would that even look like? Or was there a different way to represent a negative number?

Her question was soon answered when Ingrid turned a bright red. "Oh, red is the opposite of green, right?" Sunny murmured to herself, mildly disappointed Ingrid hadn't actually taken up negative space.

Listen. Sunny might be disappointed, but I am so happy that Ingrid did not explode. I was worried for a moment!

"Woo-hoo! Give it up for the inspiring Ingrid the Integer!" Eniac beamed and gestured for Ingrid to bow.

Sunny clapped enthusiastically. "Go Ingrid!"

WOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!

...Debbie is a bit derivative. I would probably have her and Ingrid share the stage since their show is similar.

Eniac bounced on his toes. "For our second to last act, we have Bobby the Boolean! So, Bobby, is five equal to ten? Bobby equal sign fifty equal sign equal sign ten semicolon. "

bobby = 50 == 10;

The variapet climbed on stage and immediately turned orange, displaying "false" on his front.

Omg, Bobby is a truthseer. xD

"And finally, we have Charlie the Character. He'll be using a loop and the ASCII table to sing the alphabet song! Well, to show the alphabet, at least."

OMG, I hate loops so much. XD Hopefully, Charlie makes it better...

Sunny bent down and petted Debbie (so soft!), then asked, "Was that the problem?"

The "so soft!" part sounds a little bit odd...

Eniac glanced up at her. "Oh, yes, thank you. It's all coming back to me now… How could I forget? It's an incompatible types error."

"Right! Robert mentioned that you're the guardian for that error. But what does it mean?"

Okay, so the thing that I am wondering now is how could the guardian for the error make such an error happen? It makes me wonder what it really means to be a guardian for the error. I had assumed that it meant that they would help others that struggled with the error, but now I wonder if there is another reason why he is the guardian for the error. Maybe he is the guardian of the error because he consistently makes that error???

"It happens when you try to set a variable to a value of a different type. Like with Charlie." Eniac frowned. "There was a solution to this one… A way to convert between integers and characters… Darn, it's slipping away again." He paused for a moment, then snapped his fingers. "Wait, I got it!"

This is why loops are the literal worst.

Sunny applauded enthusiastically. Eniac sighed in relief and stood up again, bowing with a flourish. "And that, my dear audience, was Eniac and the Variapets' Show Spectacular! I do hope you'll come back another time when the show isn't interrupted by errors."

I would probably break up the characters' actions a bit more... so like...

Sunny applauded enthusiastically.

Eniac sighed in relief and stood up again, bowing with a flourish. "And that, my dear audience, was Eniac and the Variapets' Show Spectacular! I do hope you'll come back another time when the show isn't interrupted by errors."

"But it seems like that information has escaped to Spaghetti Code Mountain as well." His expression darkened. "Escaped, or been kidnapped."

Dun dun dunnnnnn!

I am starting to get excited about seeing this mysterious Spaghetti Code Mountain, lol.

Sunny nodded understandingly. "Well, if the information has been kidnapped, does that mean there's someone behind it? A big bad villain, perhaps?" Her eyes glinted.

I... cannot imagine Sunny fighting a big bad villain, for some reason, lol. BUT. MAYBE SHE WILL.

"Perhaps. But before we discuss this any more, I think we need all hands on deck." Eniac turned towards Robert. "Randy! Nap time's over."

YAY ROBERT'S BACK!!!!

...my daughter is reading this over my shoulder now and wants to read the whole thing now, haha. I think she likes the variapets. They are cute, after all...

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Ahh I loved the little show that we got to see here. I think you've done quite a wonderful job of it. You've really managed to play around with the ideas of these words quite nicely I think. There was one tiny part where the second show got a touch repetitive but besides that hiccup this whole piece is flowing together quite nicely.

Anyway let's get right to it,

The rest of the variapets hopped off the stage, and Ingrid was left standing in the center. Eniac clapped his hands. "Ingrid equal sign one thousand semicolon!" Sunny briefly wondered if the translator was malfunctioning, but as Eniac finished speaking, text appeared in the air above the stage.

ingrid = 1000;

Ingrid the variapet suddenly started growing in size, expanding until she was the size of the stage. The number 1000 appeared in white on her fluffy green front. Sunny's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Was saying that line of code like a magic spell?

OOooh well this is certainly not how I was expecting this particular show to work, but I believe you have in fact done the impossible and managed to translate the idea of integers at work and get it to end up being something that is actually pretty fun here.

"And one last trick… Ingrid equal sign one hundred and five minus sign one thousand and five semicolon."

ingrid = 105 - 1005;

Sunny wondered how the variapet could store a negative number. Could a variapet take up negative space? What would that even look like? Or was there a different way to represent a negative number?

Her question was soon answered when Ingrid turned a bright red. "Oh, red is the opposite of green, right?" Sunny murmured to herself, mildly disappointed Ingrid hadn't actually taken up negative space. The variapet grew larger and displayed a "-900.

I have to say I'm with Sunny on the part of being disappointed there about negative space, but besides that I am loving this concept here for a live performance. Its just about crazy enough to work wonderfully while sounding very plausible within the laws of Javaland. I'm very excited to see what the other performances will be like.

The pink variapet expanded and filled up the stage, displaying "1234.56789" on her front. Sunny wouldn't have known the difference if Debbie had actually stored 1235 instead of a decimal, but she assumed Debbie was storing the right amount…

"And then we have mathematical operations galore! Debbie minus equals nine hundred and eighty-seven point six five semicolon."

debbie -= 987.65;

The variapet shrunk and displayed "246.91789." Sunny raised her eyebrows. "Interesting… it seems like Debbie decreased by that nine hundred number."

Ahh we do always love to use that old trick. Definitely seems like it shouldn't work in the slightest but my the magic of code it does. I am mildly disappointed about this one though, we've so far not got to see anything too different with this one. Its certainly still just as fun while being informative, but I suppose I was expecting this trick to have a bit more differences to it.

The variapet climbed on stage and immediately turned orange, displaying "false" on his front.

"Amazing! And now, is six not equal to seven? Bobby equal sign six exclamation point equal sign seven semicolon."

bobby = 6 != 7;

Bobby turned blue and showed "true."

I am liking this little new round of shows here. Its not too different again, but this time I think its different enough with more intriguing questions for those tricks that it does manage to match the initial excitement of the first one just a little bit better.

Charlie froze onstage, his yellow fur turning a deep red. After a moment, he displayed the word "error."

Sunny frowned and leaned forwards. Eniac gasped. "Oh, no, no, no. I'm sure I got the numbers right. I double-checked that 65 is 'A' and 90 is 'Z' in the ASCII table!" He pulled a large sheet of paper out of thin air.

Ahhh I was excited for Charlie to just sing the alphabet code in a barrage of ones and zeroes but I am here for this too, especially because now we're seeing a bit of an error happen right in front of our eyes, so I think this is really going to demonstrate a couple of things to us here.

Eniac looked up at the code still floating in the air and blinked. He sat down heavily in the grass, looking like he'd just remembered something important. "Oh. Ohh!" He started muttering to himself.

Sunny stood up and walked to Eniac and the variapets, who crowded against her and seemed to sniff her curiously. Sunny bent down and petted Debbie (so soft!), then asked, "Was that the problem?"

Eniac glanced up at her. "Oh, yes, thank you. It's all coming back to me now… How could I forget? It's an incompatible types error."

Ahh love this little scene here. It seems we've really tapped into the idea of how these errors are being taken away from the error guardians quite nicely. Nothing is ever quite as vivid as showing this sort of thing in action. Now all we really need to see to complete the whole scenario is for an error to literally fly off a page.

"It happens when you try to set a variable to a value of a different type. Like with Charlie." Eniac frowned. "There was a solution to this one… A way to convert between integers and characters… Darn, it's slipping away again." He paused for a moment, then snapped his fingers. "Wait, I got it!"

Ahh I love that Eniac actually does have at least a momentary lapse back into not remembering, it makes that whole threat seem a lot more urgent and dangerous than it otherwise would look.

Sunny nodded. "Thank you for the show!"

I definitely did not come in here expecting to see a show of a nature quite like that but I have to say I am definitely not disappointed that I got to see it here. I think you've done quite a wonderful job with this show here.

Sunny nodded.

Eniac hummed thoughtfully. "You know, that's the reason I started keeping these variapets and training them in the first place. I was researching the incompatible types error." He smiled fondly at the colorful creatures. "Did you know that Debbie can store anything Ingrid can store, but Ingrid can't store all that Debbie can?"

He called for the two variapets, then spoke.

Hmm this is an interesting little bit of news there. It seems that Eniac isn't simply lying idle and waiting for this problem to consume him but is rather trying to research some sort of alternate method to keep the errors with him. I love that, it seems like Eniac really is a bit of a researcher or a scientist of some sort given the evidence with the translators earlier as well.

"Usually, variapets would be able to display the type of error, and some extra information on how to fix it." Eniac sighed. "But it seems like that information has escaped to Spaghetti Code Mountain as well." His expression darkened. "Escaped, or been kidnapped."

"Information can be… kidnapped?"

Sunny's skepticism must have come through in her voice, because Eniac snapped, "Of course! Do you not have ransomware in your world? Haven't you heard of hackers locking information and charging businesses for access?"

Oooh I didn't think of the variapets also having their errors wiped from them. That adds a new dimension into this whole plan with the keep it all in mind using the variapets. Also love how literally ransomware is being used in this one, always fun to see terms like that being used in contexts like these.

Eniac's expression softened. "I apologize for my tone. It's just been quite stressful, watching text fly away from all my books. Not to mention the memory loss, as you just saw."

Sunny nodded understandingly. "Well, if the information has been kidnapped, does that mean there's someone behind it? A big bad villain, perhaps?" Her eyes glinted.

"Perhaps. But before we discuss this any more, I think we need all hands on deck." Eniac turned towards Robert. "Randy! Nap time's over."

AHHHH love that last line there. I feel like Roberts find his match in Eniac here, and he dialogue with all three of them in on the banter as the errors are being explained seems like it will be reaching legendary status.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I loved seeing more demonstrations of errors happening first hand and the kind of consequences it can have. And of course with more hidden bits of detail being presented to us here, I can't wait to see how the all hands on deck situation ends up going here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

Hi again mint! Lim with another short review!

First Impressions

I noticed this chapter answered the ponderings I was having in the previous one – nice! I like that Eniac was training variapets to research the error, as it’s such a creative personification of like, troubleshooting in code or something. The incompatible types error was a fun twist to the variapets’ performance, and I love that Sunny figured it out.

"Information can be… kidnapped?"

I also love this quote ^ xD

Worldbuilding

As always, I find the worldbuilding really charming. I like how the variapets change size when the numbers change – that makes it more visually interesting and emphasizes the fantasy aspect of the story.

Ingrid can actually store up to around two billion, but that would make her bigger than Javaland.

^ I do wonder if feeding them huge numbers could potentially cause chaos for Javaland though xD Couldn’t Ingrid end up just . . .squishing buildings? (Unless she’s just too fluffy for that, of course.)

I wonder if the variapets will end up accompanying Sunny to help her solve puzzles. I’d imagine Bobby especially could be helpful in answering true/false riddles.

Eniac glanced up at her. "Oh, yes, thank you. It's all coming back to me now… How could I forget? It's an incompatible types error."

I was interested by this part, because I was thinking about how the error descriptions ‘disappearing’ actually worked. Sunny seems to be unaffected by it, possibly because she’s not a Javalandian. But can the memory loss just be ‘fixed’ by someone else telling you about the error? In that case, I wonder if it would be possible for Sunny to help by figuring out what the errors are for all of these? Maybe there’s something I’m missing here, but that’s just a thought I had, haha. No doubt it would also take too long for her to do that anyway.

Continuity

Something I appreciate is how you’ve kept the continuity from the first chapter, which I’d imagine is hard to do when writing for LMS! I like that Sunny still thinks of her rules in her notebook, and on a smaller scale, the continuity in the running gag about Robert’s name is also nice to see. I haven’t felt like there were any unusual tone shifts across the chapters up to this point, so great work on keeping that consistent.

Overall

I’m excited about Sunny’s development of her coding skills and also about the potential intro of an antagonist. I wonder who would want to kidnap the error descriptions, and if the reference to ransomware might provide a hint to their motivations. (Would the kidnapper want money in exchange for releasing them?)

Hope this review helps and feel free to ask for more feedback!
-Lim