When Sunny stepped out of the portal, she found herself on a small hill overlooking a town. There were suburban houses with curved roofs standing alongside neat roads, and Sunny saw a few people walking around. "Hm, this must be the starting point for my quest," she said to herself. "I wonder if one of the townspeople will come up to me and ask for help with something? Or will it be a more dramatic prophecy of the Chosen One kind of thing? Or-"
A slightly monotonic voice interrupted her. "Oh, great. You’re a hero wannabe. Am I supposed to be your sidekick, then?"
Sunny gasped and swiveled around, looking for the speaker. But there was no one there except for a strange, floating rock, about half Sunny's size. She frowned at its smooth, white surface. "Okay, first off, I feel like I've just been insulted. Second, who or what are you?"
The rock floated silently for a moment, then opened its eyes. Wait. What?
Sunny stepped back as the sides of the rock separated from its body, forming arm-like appendages. A mouth formed on the front of the rock, and the rock’s eyes blinked as it completed its transformation.
"I'm Robert. Who are you?"
Sunny stared at the talking rock in shock. Then she remembered Rule #7 in her questing notebook: "Don't be surprised if anything odd, extraordinary, or impossible happens. Being surprised does nothing but waste time you could be using for important questing things." So Sunny shook herself, forced herself to accept the fact that rocks could talk in this world, and glanced down at the scrap of notebook paper still in her hand.
Apparently, this was the mysterious Robert who'd help her communicate… "But how?" Sunny blurted out. "Where am I supposed to use this code?" She looked back at her hand and frowned. "And didn't a small white rock come with this note?"
Robert bobbed up and down in the air. "That rock was my disguise in the human world. Here, I'm a robot. Top of the line assistant bot, here to help you in any way I can! Robert the Ambassador at your service." The robot arranged its face into an enthusiastic smile.
Oh, so Robert’s a robot. Perhaps rocks can’t talk in this world, then. Sunny nodded slowly. "How exactly can you help me?"
Robert made a sound that seemed awfully like a scoff and adopted a neutral expression again. "What I said about being at your service is just what Marketing tells us to say. Really, all of us robots were granted free will after the Great Protest at Spaghetti Code Mountain." Robert shrugged. "But assuming I decide to help you, you can type code into the IDE– that’s an integrated development environment– installed in me, and I can run your code."
Robert popped open the top of his head, revealing a glowing blue keyboard and a computer screen.
Sunny stifled another gasp, keeping Rule #7 in mind.
Robert continued talking, unfazed. "See? This is my interface. There's a keyboard and a screen and everything. Think of it as a laptop."
Sunny stared at the keyboard and screen for a moment. The screen had a few lines of code already, as well as a few buttons at the top.
"Unfortunately, I don't have any games installed." Robert floated silently for a second, then added, "No internet browsers either. Really, it's just a place to code. Any questions?"
Sunny swallowed and nodded, then held up the note. "Do you mind if I try this code out?"
Robert squinted at the paper. "Alright, that should be easy enough."
With a deep breath, Sunny stepped closer to the robot and placed her hands on the keyboard. So, the note says to use System.out.println("[your message]"); to say stuff. I don't want to interfere with the code that's already there, so I'll just type on a new line…
Once Sunny had finished typing, she said, "Okay, Robert. I'm assuming the green button runs the code?"
"That's correct."
Sunny nodded and clicked the button.
"Great. There's an error." Sunny frowned at the red text. "Okay, well, how do I fix it?"
"Oh, you should code inside the main method. See that space on line 3? Your code goes there." Robert made a humming sound. "Apologies, we've been having problems with our errors lately… they should be more descriptive."
Sunny suddenly perked up. "Problems, you say? Anything a potential hero could help you with?"
Robert made a surprisingly good imitation of a snort. "Perhaps, but not before you run your first program. Right, and there's one more thing. I forgot to tell you that it's typical to print, 'Hello, World!' in your first program. Doesn’t matter to me, but I figured you'd be one for tradition." The robot shrugged.
"You figured right!" Sunny edited her code. "But…" She clicked the green button again.
"...I also like to add my own flair to things." Sunny winked. "Alright, time to try the next bit of code!"
"Oh, the cursor's blinking. I guess I'll type something for input?"
"It just repeated what I typed." Sunny glanced down at Robert.
"That's right. The denizens of Javaland speak a completely different language, and the best way we've figured out to communicate with you Earthlings is through text. So the people here can plug in one of their multipurpose devices right here, and the device will translate what they say and input it into your program." Robert slid open a panel on the side of his head, revealing a rectangular port.
"Ookay, but you speak English just fine. Talking seems like a better way than typing." Sunny raised an eyebrow.
"That's because I was made to be an ambassador between Earth and Javaland. Most people here don't bother learning other languages because it's rather rare to see otherworldly strangers here. Also, I refuse to act as a translator for you. Free will for robots!"
"Fine then." Sunny sighed. "Anyways, I've run some code, so can you tell me about those problems with the errors now?"
"Right, I suppose you have." Robert hesitated for a moment, then said, "Actually, it might be better to show you. Because the thing is, we've lost their descriptions."
Sunny is so adamant about going on an adventure, she's probably going to start causing problems rather than fixing them...if my writer suspicions are correct, that is. I think this will be an interesting source of conflict: rather than having bad things happen to her, Sunny is the one causing all the problems.
I don't know how you got all this information or the pictures, but it's great! Really bumps up the immersion, and gives the impression that you know what you're doing when it comes to coding.
Hello! Quill here back for another review! I think I'm going to focus on reactions again but let me know what else you'd like to hear!!!
Sunny gasped and swiveled around, looking for the speaker. But there was no one there except for a strange, floating rock, about half Sunny's size.yesssss it WAS the rock, absolute best sidekick.
...
Nevermind XD
Oh good he's a robot
I love how related to code this is. Along with being a great story this could be a really great learning book!
...''''That's right. The denizens of Javaland speak a completely different language, and the best way we've figured out to communicate with you Earthlings is through text.''
yesssss it WAS the rock, absolute best sidekick.
I love how related to code this is. Along with being a great story this could be a really great learning book!
Hello.
"Then it slowly opened its eyes."
So... when I read chapter ten, I thought Robert was a human. ( I had not read the beginning yet.) Having a rock as a character is like so original. No wait a robot, didn't get to that part yet, so sorry.
"'Hello world! I'm Sunny, fantasy enthusiast and soon to be heroine!"
So Sunny really wants everyone to know about what's going on. Cool.
"error at main.java:6"
That makes me understand the title waaay better. and know what's going on.
Great job, and please read my new novel, "The accidental magic." And also excuse me for sounding like I was answering a test last time. Good job! 
Having a rock as a character is like so original.
So Sunny really wants everyone to know about what's going on. Cool.
Hi Mint!
I'm done with 1.1, and 1.2 definitely exceeds my expectations!
First of all, Robert is a great addition as a character. He kind of reminds me of an animated movie I saw the trailer of where all the kids got their own personal robot and this kid got a malfunctioning unit.. and also it reminded me a little bit of Big Hero 6!
Great start there!
I also love how Sun is following normal character stereotypes while nothing goes to plan (I do remember this story "25 Rules to Follow When You Become a Main Character" here on YWS from the rule that she brought up from her questing notebook).
I do find the lost description interesting, and the idea that robots now have free will after this protest. Overall, my suggestion would be to merge 1.1, 1.2 and 1.3 into a single post. Because, it feels jarring to come out of the story and then reenter it.
I'm loving it so far!
DFTBA!
He kind of reminds me of an animated movie I saw the trailer of where all the kids got their own personal robot and this kid got a malfunctioning unit.. and also it reminded me a little bit of Big Hero 6!
(I do remember this story "25 Rules to Follow When You Become a Main Character" here on YWS from the rule that she brought up from her questing notebook).
Overall, my suggestion would be to merge 1.1, 1.2 and 1.3 into a single post.
DFTBA!
OH. I forgot to review this, though I definitely read it? I am jumbled up, haha. (I... might not have slept a lot last night.) Anyway, I figured that I would try to review this.
Sunny gasped and swiveled around, looking for the speaker. But there was no one there except for a strange, floating rock, about half Sunny's size. She frowned at its smooth, white surface. "Okay, first off, I feel like I've just been insulted. Second, who or what are you?"
Sunny stepped back as the sides of the rock separated from its body, forming arm-like appendages. A mouth formed on the front of the rock, and the rock’s eyes blinked as it completed its transformation.
Sunny suddenly perked up. "Problems, you say? Anything a potential hero could help you with?"
Robert made a surprisingly good imitation of a snort. "Perhaps, but not before you run your first program.
"...I also like to add my own flair to things." Sunny winked. "Alright, time to try the next bit of code!"
"That's because I was made to be an ambassador between Earth and Javaland. Most people here don't bother learning other languages because it's rather rare to see otherworldly strangers here. Also, I refuse to act as a translator for you. Free will for robots!"
"Right, I suppose you have." Robert hesitated for a moment, then said, "Actually, it might be better to show you. Because the thing is, we've lost their descriptions."
For some reason, I am getting Eve vibes from Wall-E... is that right?
Anyway, I love Robert. He is MY MAN.
WHAT IS ROBERT'S REACTION??? I NEED TO KNOW.
A little clarification might be good here!
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: OKay...well this is an interesting to our first chapter here. I think it builds off the energy you created on the first part of this chapter quite well although towards the end it does hit a little bit of a lull in the flow of things so you might want to look into that a little bit more carefully.
Anyway let's get right to it,
When Sunny stepped out of the portal, she found herself on a small hill overlooking a town. There were suburban houses with curved roofs standing alongside neat roads, and Sunny saw a few people walking around. "Hm, this must be the starting point for my quest," she said to herself. "I wonder if one of the townspeople will come up to me and ask for help with something? Or will it be a more dramatic prophecy of the Chosen One kind of thing? Or-"
A slightly monotonic voice interrupted her. "Oh, great. You’re a hero wannabe. Am I supposed to be your sidekick, then?"
Sunny gasped and swiveled around, looking for the speaker. But there was no one there except for a strange, floating rock, about half Sunny's size. She frowned at its smooth, white surface. "Okay, first off, I feel like I've just been insulted. Second, who or what are you?"
The rock floated silently for a moment, then opened its eyes. Wait. What?
Sunny stepped back as the sides of the rock separated from its body, forming arm-like appendages. A mouth formed on the front of the rock, and the rock’s eyes blinked as it completed its transformation.
"I'm Robert. Who are you?"
Sunny stared at the talking rock in shock. Then she remembered Rule #7 in her questing notebook: "Don't be surprised if anything odd, extraordinary, or impossible happens. Being surprised does nothing but waste time you could be using for important questing things." So Sunny shook herself, forced herself to accept the fact that rocks could talk in this world, and glanced down at the scrap of notebook paper still in her hand.
Apparently, this was the mysterious Robert who'd help her communicate… "But how?" Sunny blurted out. "Where am I supposed to use this code?" She looked back at her hand and frowned. "And didn't a small white rock come with this note?"
Robert bobbed up and down in the air. "That rock was my disguise in the human world. Here, I'm a robot. Top of the line assistant bot, here to help you in any way I can! Robert the Ambassador at your service." The robot arranged its face into an enthusiastic smile.
Oh, so Robert’s a robot. Perhaps rocks can’t talk in this world, then. Sunny nodded slowly. "How exactly can you help me?"
Robert made a sound that seemed awfully like a scoff and adopted a neutral expression again. "What I said about being at your service is just what Marketing tells us to say. Really, all of us robots were granted free will after the Great Protest at Spaghetti Code Mountain." Robert shrugged. "But assuming I decide to help you, you can type code into the IDE– that’s an integrated development environment– installed in me, and I can run your code."
Robert popped open the top of his head, revealing a glowing blue keyboard and a computer screen.
Sunny stifled another gasp, keeping Rule #7 in mind.
Robert continued talking, unfazed. "See? This is my interface. There's a keyboard and a screen and everything. Think of it as a laptop."
Sunny stared at the keyboard and screen for a moment. The screen had a few lines of code already, as well as a few buttons at the top.
"Unfortunately, I don't have any games installed." Robert floated silently for a second, then added, "No internet browsers either. Really, it's just a place to code. Any questions?"
Sunny swallowed and nodded, then held up the note. "Do you mind if I try this code out?"
Robert squinted at the paper. "Alright, that should be easy enough."
With a deep breath, Sunny stepped closer to the robot and placed her hands on the keyboard. So, the note says to use System.out.println("[your message]"); to say stuff. I don't want to interfere with the code that's already there, so I'll just type on a new line…
"Great. There's an error." Sunny frowned at the red text. "Okay, well, how do I fix it?"
"Oh, you should code inside the main method. See that space on line 3? Your code goes there." Robert made a humming sound. "Apologies, we've been having problems with our errors lately… they should be more descriptive."
Sunny suddenly perked up. "Problems, you say? Anything a potential hero could help you with?"
Robert made a surprisingly good imitation of a snort. "Perhaps, but not before you run your first program. Right, and there's one more thing. I forgot to tell you that it's typical to print, 'Hello, World!' in your first program. Doesn’t matter to me, but I figured you'd be one for tradition." The robot shrugged.
"You figured right!" Sunny edited her code. "But…" She clicked the green button again.
"That's right. The denizens of Javaland speak a completely different language, and the best way we've figured out to communicate with you Earthlings is through text. So the people here can plug in one of their multipurpose devices right here, and the device will translate what they say and input it into your program." Robert slid open a panel on the side of his head, revealing a rectangular port.
"Ookay, but you speak English just fine. Talking seems like a better way than typing." Sunny raised an eyebrow.
"That's because I was made to be an ambassador between Earth and Javaland. Most people here don't bother learning other languages because it's rather rare to see otherworldly strangers here. Also, I refuse to act as a translator for you. Free will for robots!"
"Fine then." Sunny sighed. "Anyways, I've run some code, so can you tell me about those problems with the errors now?"
"Right, I suppose you have." Robert hesitated for a moment, then said, "Actually, it might be better to show you. Because the thing is, we've lost their descriptions."
I think it builds off the energy you created on the first part of this chapter quite well although towards the end it does hit a little bit of a lull in the flow of things so you might want to look into that a little bit more carefully.
Well that does seem like a pretty terrible computer all things considered but I'm going to assume you do not want to spend the majority of a quest playing a computer game so perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.
Oh boy, well its not coding if you don't run into a couple of errors. If you ever write a program and run into zero errors its one of the most surreal feelings that you can experience really.
Hi mint!
First Impressions
The thing that stood out to me the most this chapter was the code! I quite like how the dialogue blends in with the code pictures – it feels very fluid. At the same time I wonder if the code being in an image might make it difficult for someone who is reading this with a text-to-voice reader, for example, though that might be something to think about during editing rather than drafting. That being said, using the code to tell part of the story and also as a way for Sunny to interact with others is really creative! It almost reminded me of being in a video game tutorial, the way Robert was instructing Sunny how to input the code. Losing descriptions of syntax errors is also an interesting problem for Sunny to help solve.
Characters
It looks like Sunny is going to have to learn to code if she wants to be a hero! I like that set-up: it’s lighthearted enough for comedy but still involves challenges for the protagonist.
With a deep breath, Sunny stepped closer to the robot and placed her hands on the keyboard. So, the note says to use System.out.println("[your message]"); to say stuff. I don't want to interfere with the code that's already there, so I'll just type on a new line…
Sunny stepped back as the sides of the rock separated from its body, forming arm-like appendages. A mouth formed on the front of the rock, and the rock’s eyes blinked as it completed its transformation.
That’s a good bit of continuity. (And reminds me of a literary technique called Chekov’s Gun, if you’ve heard of it!) At the same time I wonder if the code being in an image might make it difficult for someone who is reading this with a text-to-voice reader, for example, though that might be something to think about during editing rather than drafting.
I wonder if the robot revolution he talks about will come into play later, or if it's a backstory thing for the history of Javaland.
I didn%u2019t feel that I was being fed information when looking through the code segments especially, as it felt more like following Sunny%u2019s thought processes
Hey there! Plume here, with a review!
You know, I'm not sure I've ever reviewed any of your work before, which just blows my mind because you're such a talented writer and I've also reviewed quite a lot of stuff, and it is crazy to me that none of it was by you! So let's remedy that!
I will preface this by saying that I am so not a computer person, but the way you explain coding in this is so fun and accessible! I just love the educational flair you've put into this already adorable story. Overall, your concept is delightful and original. I've read a few other books that taught kids how to code in fun ways, but none as good as this one. You use your visuals really nicely, too— I love the embedded images! They add even more resources to help your reader base who might not understand computers (me) understand what's going on in the story.
One thing I adored about this was your main character! She is very aptly named, I will say. I love her optimism and her interactions with Robert (their relationship seems like it's shaping up to be quite the humorous one!) Her spunk is part of what makes her so appealing. I also love the fact that she's kinda been waiting for this moment her entire life, because she's always been a fan of fantasy things—that's such a unique characteristic for a main character to have, and I love it!
I'm also looking forward to exploring Javaland alongside Sunny! Given that absolutely stellar line about the Great Protest at Spaghetti Code Mountain, I have high hopes for this world you've created. It seems rife with originality and I am so curious to discover more about it!
I am curious to know what the big conflict will be—so far, we've got pretty much only coding, and no signs of any Big Bad Villain approaching. I'm wondering if you're going to follow that path, or if your conflict is going to be more abstract than that.
I also think just overall your passion for both writing and coding comes through beautifully. You're telling a story about two things you evidently both love so much, and it is lovely to read. Your engagement and investment in this story is a big part of what makes it so fun, light, and absolutely lovely.
Overall: phenomenal job. I look forward to keeping up with Sunny as she begins her journey through Javaland! Until next time!!
I will preface this by saying that I am so not a computer person, but the way you explain coding in this is so fun and accessible!
I am curious to know what the big conflict will be%u2014so far, we've got pretty much only coding, and no signs of any Big Bad Villain approaching. I'm wondering if you're going to follow that path, or if your conflict is going to be more abstract than that.
Overall: phenomenal job. I look forward to keeping up with Sunny as she begins her journey through Javaland! Until next time!!
120,149 Literary Works • 648,822 Reviews
Points: 27
Reviews: 52
Donate