My useless self can't seem to write,
I can't let go of the curse's bite,
The one that won't let the words spill out,
So the thing I want to write about,
Is the absence that has enveloped me,
and just won't let me go.
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,820 Reviews
Hi!
I can relate to this poem so much, it's short, it's sweet and I enjoyed it very much. It you wrote this when you had writer's block I would be insanely jealous but I don't think you did since you literally just described what is like. Know that you are not only in the curse of writer's block and I hope to see more of your work soon.
~Ello, caliginous here~
Wow. So relatable! Especially that fist line, "My useless self can't seem to write," gosh that's exactly how I feel every time I have writer's block! As cpedro said, you portrayed you frustrations so very clearly throughout the whole poem. And I have to say, that first line, specifically the word "useless", really grabbed my attention! Of course, the second line did a perfect job of holding it with that powerful metaphor. It's descriptive, compelling and completely accurate. Absolutely amazing. Now, I shall dive into my picky edits and improvements.
This whole poem is apparently one long run-on sentence according to the punctuation used. Break it up into two or three sentences. The last four lines are connected, so keep those as one sentence. But the first two lines could either be their own separate sentences or combined to form one sentence. I would advise going with The second choice and making those two one sentence, just to help the flow of the poem. So my advice to you on this matter is to just add a period at the end of line two. That just about sums it up.
I am having some issues with the last three lines. I'll take this part line-by-line so I can clearly explain my thoughts and ideas, and hopefully allow you to understand.
The word "thing" is useless. I apologize, but I despise this word. Why waste a perfectly good space in a line for a word that provides no explanation or detail whatsoever? Why not use up that space with a word that is helpful? Just...try to avoid using words like "thing" when you could say something so much stronger in that word's place. Use the word "evil" or "nuisance" or perhaps even "villain". These words would place writer'so block into a specific category while providing plenty of details and information - the characterization of the word. Try out each of the words I recommended and other words you think would describe writer's block to find a much better than "thing" to use. Oh, and one more suggestion for this line - switch out "want" for "wish". Again, it's just a more descriptive word.
If you are going to start this line off with "is", do not end the prior line with a comma. It just doesn't sound right or flow smoothly. That's the only problem I have with this line.
This line does not fit in at all with the rest of the poem. It breaks the rhyme scheme and shatters the rhythm, greatly disrupting the flow as well. Why doesn't it rhyme? After all, the word the line must rhyme with is "me". Not exactly the most daunting rhyme that could be attempted. This line is too short as well, throwing away the nice rhythm you had going. However, if you can get this line to rhyme without adjusting it too much, the rhythm might seem to heal a bit. It might just feel disrupting because of the missing rhyme.
Once again, this poem is completely relatable. One hundred percent true. I love it!
Hope I was helpful!
~caliginous
Hello blablabl92,
Even though it is a small poem I really like it and I think most people will too because as fellow writers who hasn't had their amount of brickwalls and blanks and what not? You managed to portray your frustrastion and feeling of hopelessness and that's what really matters as the basic thing about poetry is feelings, so congrats on your work and don't lose faith and I'm sure your block will go away soon