Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.
For Tenyo's LMS contest. Word Count; 1,136, approx.
Chapter Ten
Amara paced her cell, ignoring Baraz and the others. They were huddled together in the fr corner, whispering amongst themselves. They'd already discussed it with her, but she had refused to comment either way on the conversation. She didn't trust the prince, and she certainly didn't trust the guards. That was why she was between her people and the cell's rusty iron bars.
She was confused. Arjana had acted so....overbearing cruel before the guards had left, and then he had been nice. Amara wasn't sure which face was the real one. Then again, he had spoken of his father and his death... Would it really be so bad to put a younger face on the Empire's cruel image? Would it even make a difference?
"Chieftess."
The sound of Baraz's voice so close to her caused her to start, and reach for a sword that wasn't there. She turned towards him, keeping the two guards outside their cell within sight. The big man's gaze flickered past her, then came back to her face. She hadn't even heard him coming.
"Sorry, Baraz," she said, keeping her voice down. He jerked his head back towards the children and Amara followed. "I was...thinking and didn't notice you."
"I would expect nothing less," he said in reply, bringing them up short of the others. "You have had a lot to think about, considering the boy's admission."
Amara's frown deepened as she peered up at him. Baraz shifted uncomfortably, looking towards the others. Anatu, the eldest of the girls, glanced up and nodded to them. She was only a year older than Amara. They all looked tired and hungry. She had to do something. Amara nodded back, then turned to Baraz.
"Why has this admission endeared him to you?" she asked, gaze narrowed at her friend. She considered him her bodyguard and general, but she wouldn't tell him that yet. "What did he say to make you trust him?"
"Did you not hear him earlier?" Baraz was giving her an incredulous look. "Did you not hear the fondness in his voice when he spoke of the bodyguard? He loves him. He even admitted as much, though he never answered my question. How can you turn your back on the passion he has for the man, and for ending slavery?"
Amara turned away, gaze falling to rest on Anatu and the others. In the time since they were captured and their time together in the cell, she had learnt all of their names. She knew them all now--what the liked, what they didn't like, the things they found beautiful. Amara sighed and closed her eyes, biting her lip to keep the sobs inside. When she was sure she would not break down in front of him, she turned back to Baraz.
"I am trying to keep a level head," she said, giving him a dark look. "How do we know that that enter conversation in the throne room wasn't an act? Sure, he looked and sounded sincere enough....but how do we know which one is the real Arjana? Cruelty or Kindness, Baraz? You tell me."
Baraz opened his mouth to speak, and then promptly closed it. Amara gave him a stiff nod and then turned to walk away. She joined Anatu and the others without looking back. It left him time to think, and he time to consider the prince's words and actions, both cruel and kind. Which was the man's true face? She couldn't help but wonder if it was really the kindness he had showed them in the throne room.
Anatu smiled at her as she sat down. She had only just gotten comfortable when there was a noise in the hall--footsteps--and then a sharp command to open the door. Amara shot to her feet and moved to join Baraz, standing firmly between the guards and her people. Rindal, the lecherous creep, was standing outside their cell, his expression thunderous as he tapped his fingers against his thigh with mounting impatience.
Kailys struggled with the lock, rummaging through the keys in a hurry to find the correct one. As soon as he did so, he unlocked the door, but before he could open it, Rindal had dragged him out of the way, shoved the door open and entered the cell. He stormed over to her, grabbed her dress by the collar and hauled her up so that their faces were inches apart.
"What did you speak to him about while the guards were not in the room?" he demanded in a snarl, shaking her slightly for empathise. "What were you plotting?"
Amara grabbed his wrist and shoulder, trying to push away from him. He completely ignored her struggles, right up until Baraz grabbed hi by the hair and jerked his head back, a blade at his throat. Amara hadn't even seen her friend move. The guards outside were suddenly yelling for him to put the blade down. Obviously, they had been too busy eavesdropping instead of keeping an eye on the prisoners.
"You will let go of my Chieftess," Baraz hissed, pressing the blade against the other man's throat tightly, making sure that Rindal knew it was there. "Or I will slit your throat."
Rindal released her abruptly, and Amara fell back into her ass. She picked herself up, dusted off her ass and backed up a step. Rindal glared at her, and she glared back. Then her glaze flickered to Baraz over the guard's shoulder. "Release him."
Baraz nodded, withdrew the blade and stepped back. Amara watched him as he knelt and offered up the guard's dagger without a word. Rindal turned and snatched it off him, then backed towards the cell door. Amara watched him carefully as he sheathed the blade and stood in the doorway, blocking any efforts to escape. Rindal pointed to her.
"You and two of the girls are to be escorted to more...acceptable quarters," he announced, sounding as if he wished to choke on the words but could not. The finger went to Baraz. "You are to come as well. Comply, and maybe no one has to die."
Amara's eyes narrowed. "And what about the others?"
"The children are to be sent to the kitchens, where they will help the cooks in their duties."
She considered that for a moment, glanced back towards Anatu. The other girl inclined her head. They could handle that, if they had her with them. Amara would take Mylitta and Shala, then. She dragged her attention back to Rindal and nodded.
"Fine," she said, and gaze Baraz a look. He stood and assumed a waiting position. "That's acceptable."
Rindal snorted. "Good. Now come with me."
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Okay, time to get to work.

I am not going to touch on nitpicks, so I'm going to review this novel in generality. You need to reread the chapter to find out some of the typos scattered around it. The three main aspects I would like to talk about are plot, characters and settings.
The plot here moves forward at the end of the story, when Amara and two girls are brought to acceptable quarters - for reasons unknown. This is not a problem though because we see how she doesn't trust Arjana yet, and has a little argument with Baraz. It's a compelling part of the story but I would like to see more of that - how it's actually important and not just words.
For character, I find Rindal's quite inconsistent. I mean, he was all mean to Amara when she was in front of Arjana, resorting to physical assaults on her, but the same doesn't happen to Baraz when he threatens to kill Rindal. It just seems unusual how he doesn't portray his violence at that time. On the other hand, I like how Amara's character is developed to be difficult to trust anyone.
For settings, I don't think I should say more about this. It's the same setting. I just hope maybe you can create an atmosphere to really make use of it and gives us readers more absorbed to the reading. It would take quiet a skill but if you can manage to not just describing the surrounding but to relate it with Amara's current mental state, it would be a bonus.
All in all, this chapter is okay. Keep up the good job!
i like how where you are going with this story. my advice to you would be; try not to repeat descriptive words alot and add more detail to their expressions on the characters faces. if i completely ignored your grammatical errors then you are good to go!
best of luck, and i look forward to reading more of your work