Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Thanks for the imput. I've only got a little time after my computer class to be writing this, so I went and I fixed it up. Next chapter should be sometime next week? I say that as a question because I really don't know how far UHD is going to go. Toodles!
~Roya
This seems good! I haven't read the parts that come before this, but this bit is certainly intriguing.
Full stop instead of comma.
Have one or the other, but not both.
Nix this bit; were you going to delete this, but forgot?
Conscious = conscience
Nice contrasting description there.
Comma after zip it, and nix the then.
You switch tenses here. Change it to, I would have retorted if I could.
Comma between stolen it and had my mouth....
Apart from those above, it was very interesting.