Young Writers Society

Stirly, I'm so sorry. I probably should have thought of that, and I'm thoroughly embarrassed that I didn't. I hope I didn't offend you in any way.

Also, If you read the earlier chapters, you would have caught on to the chapter names being the ages. I try to shove it in ever chapter, but sometimes it gets difficult. If you all still feel that the chapter titles aren't enough when I don't throw it in, please tell me so I can fix it.

Also, if anybody has read this and found it a little confusing whether I'm reffering to Mrs. Lithon or Evie's biological mother, speak up. I try not to use the name Mrs. Lithon as often as I might because it kinda kills the bond they've gotten over the years. I try and stay away from saying biological as well because it's not like she was taken away at birth. She had seven years with her real mother and they weren't really bad until a year or two before Evie ended up in the orphanage. I really shouldn't have to be saying any of this, but it just feels better for me to say that right now. XD I hate when people get confused with me because it happens more often then not.

Thanks for both of your crits. I'll be sure to remember your suggestions when I write the next chapter.

"Or maybe you could read something worthy of your age," she smirked, eyeing the book with displeasure at her sister's choice of literature.

Eventually, Mrs. Lithon walked back into the house with a woman that looked around hesitantly, as if searching for something important.

The woman looked up at Evie and smiled, having found what she was looking for.

Evie didn't take in an ounce of it. "Yeah, ten years can do that to a kid,"

I love this story, and its definately one that I can relate to. The thing that gets me is this:

Adopted parents wouldn't force their adopted child to respect their whore of a birth mother. My parents aren't, my friend's parents aren't, and no adoptive parents would. Who cares if their genetics went into to you? They're still jerks, and adoptive parents wouldn't be so cruel as to put their adoptive child through the pain of having to deal with it all over again. Infact, most adoptive parents would be infuriated that the birth parent came back. The adopted child is theirs now, and the birth parents have absolutely no rights to them. Her parent's reactions just don't seem believable. Also, you may want to mention the sister's ages ahead of time That part got me a bit confused.

Beautifully written. Your use of words really brought this story to life. Well done!