Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.
“Father!” Jimin cried excitedly as he entered the apartment. His father was sitting on his chair in front of the tv and moved his eyes towards his elated son. “My friend did something really nice for us!”
He began shuffling around the room picking up a few dirty pieces of clothing to throw in for a quick wash. He looked up at his uncle who entered the room from the kitchen.
“What are you doing home early and rushing around for?” he asked, sipping his coffee.
“A friend of mine booked a trip to Japan for dad and me! It was really kind and he refused to take it back, the three of us leave in a few hours,” Jimin explained hurriedly with a grin on his face. As much as he resisted at the shop when Taehyung was there for the gift being so extravagant, he was more than excited for it. He didn’t get to go on any vacations, his father was always busy chasing the next criminal when he wasn’t focused on The Swan, so vacations weren’t possible.
“That last minute?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes! Now go drink your coffee somewhere else or help me pack dad’s things, please?”
With that, they did all the laundry and packed everything they would need. As they packed, Jimin’s excitement grew and he imagined the beautiful things his father could see after all this time of being cooped up in that apartment.
~~~
Taehyung finished packing shortly before he had to leave. He looked around his room that was now bare of any possessions that meant something to him, which wasn’t much at all. He knew he wouldn’t be able to come back after this, The Swan would never forgive or trust him after this stunt.
He pulled out the burner phone he had purchased earlier in the day and put in the numbers from his other one. He sent a text to Jimin to get his address, (for he technically was not supposed to know it already). This would buy him some time and save him from having his phone tracked.
With one last glance around the house that had been his home most of his life, he strode out the front door to his car, chucked his suitcase in the back of the car, and made his way to the driver's door. He began to pull up when he was greeted by Minjun’s headlights. He was going to keep going when he heard his horn.
Taehyung groaned and put the car in park as he heard Minjun leave his car and walk up to him.
“Where are you going?” he asked, looking at Taehyung curiously. Taehyung used everything he learned to try and hide his intentions from Minjun.
“I’m on my way to go see Irene for a bit, she called me to go out last minute,” he shrugged. At that moment his phone buzzed. He took a quick glance at it out of Minjun’s eye line and shook it in the air. “I should get going, she’s getting a little impatient.”
Minjun took one last stare at Taehyung before backing away. Taehyung took what he thought would probably be the last glance of Minjun in his life. He knew even now that he couldn’t jeopardize Minjun’s position. He had been in so deep, it would ruin everything to try and get him to go with him during this plan.
His heart ached slightly at the thought of never seeing Minjun again but he had to do this for Jimin and his father. They were the most innocent in the situation and he would not let The Swan hurt them again.
He checked Jimin’s text properly as he pulled out and his address reflected on the screen. Recognizing the area in town, he looked up at the road, staring intently. The car echoed in silence for the first time in weeks since he had first spoken to Jimin. His happy memories and thoughts would fill the void normally, but now anxiety was crushing, silent and deadly.
The drive was a short one that felt longer than it should have when he finally pulled up to Jimin’s apartment building. The sun was setting, the sky a dulcet smear of violet and indigo, clouds heavy. He was getting lost at the sight when he heard Jimin call out to him. He seemed to be struggling with the luggage and his father in the chair. It was time.
“Hey, let me help you!” Taehyung smiled as he took the bags from Jimin. Taehyung glanced down at Jimin’s father, pulse rising. Would he recognize Taehyung? During that time he wore a mask because of his target being so high profile, but there were other things to recognize from a person other than their face. Taehyung didn’t sense recognition in his tired gaze and began to relax slightly. He hoped he was lucky.
He hobbled over to the trunk to place the heavy bags and went back to help Jimin get his father in the back seat. Taehyung felt guilty from the struggle, he could only imagine what it was like for Jimin to struggle to take care of his father. Even worse for the man himself.
Jimin joined Taehyung sitting up front in the car and was practically bouncing in his seat.
“I really wanna thank you again, Taehyung. This will be our first vacation together,” Jimin grinned continuing to bouncy slightly while fastening his seatbelt. Taehyung smiled and tried not to let his emotions show. He was protecting them, but at least this would serve as something great for them to remember in the process. He still had to figure out what to do for the time being he was flying by the seat of his pants.
“I’m glad you’re excited about this! Is your father?” Taehyung asked, noticing the father’s silence, was it intentional?
“I think he is, it’s hard to tell because he can really only move and control his eyes. The attack left him unable to do really anything else, including talking,” Jimin explained, tone getting quieter towards the end. Taehyung frowned and kept his eyes focus on the road ahead of him. It would be hard to be around them together after knowing he had caused it but he had to suck it up and protect them.
They drove in silence for a few minutes before a bump in the back of the car sent the three of them lurching forward in their seats.
“What the fuck!?” Taehyung cried out, looking in the rearview mirror behind him. He was about to slow down and stop to confront the driver when the car slammed into them again. Taehyung’s blood ran ice cold.
“Taehyung, what’s going on?” Jimin cried in a panic, looking behind him.
“I don’t know!” Taehyung said truthfully. He wasn’t completely sure why the people in the car were after him, but he knew it wouldn’t be good. Had The Swan found out his plan? How?
The car lurched forward again and Taehyung slammed his foot on the accelerator and swerved sharply to the street on his right. He had to lose them quickly and leave. Jimin was breathing heavily and looking after his father in the seat behind him. They were lucky he was held by the seat belt.
Taehyung continued to speed down and work his way down a maze of streets when he finally lost sight of the car. He finally slowed down and began to make his way back in the direction of the airport. Two minutes had passed when two cars sped up behind the car and slammed into the car.
Jimin was screaming as Taehyung kept his eyes focused on the road ahead attempting to keep control of the car. The car wouldn’t let up. Taehyung saw from the corner of his eye on the left that a man was leaning out the window of one of the vans.
“GET IN THE BACK SEAT AND DUCK DOWN WITH YOUR FATHER, NOW!” Taehyung screamed. Jimin flung off his seatbelt and dived into the back row, releasing his father from his fastening and holding them ducked down.
Gunshots rang out and suddenly Taehyung heard the tires blow. He cursed and slammed the steering wheel, he was fucked. He knew he couldn’t get rid of the men now. He took a few deep breaths and slowed down the car. He would have to try and distract the men so that Jimin could get away with his father.
“Why are you slowing down?!” Jimin screamed. He was shaking, clutching his father to him.
“You have to trust me, if I can I will explain everything later, but when I stop the car and get out, You and your father need to get out of here! I’ll distract them,” Taehyung ordered hurriedly. Jimin was trying to protest when Taehyung cut him off. “No questions now, just do as I say!” Jimin quickly silenced himself in response to Taehyung’s dark tone.
Taehyung stopped the car and leaned over to the glove compartment and grabbed his handgun. Jimin squeaked in fright and Taehyung gave him one last look. “Go, now!”
Taehyung got out of the car, gun raised when the men piled out of the two vans, guns raised themselves.
“Cooperate and no one gets shot, Taehyung,” one man said. Taehyung had to contain his fear as he shook his head.
“Just take me, I’m who you want,” Taehyung boomed in a false steady voice. He had to sound more confident than he was to attempt to get the men to take him seriously.
“Don’t think because The Swan financially raised your ass that it makes you special,” another man boomed, cocking his gun. Taehyung gulped and saw Jimin attempting to run out of the car with his father over his shoulder. Half of the guns quickly pointed at them and Taehyung ran over to shield them. He saw the fear and realization cloud over Jimin's eyes. He didn't care if Jimin hated him, he still had to try and protect them.
“Don’t you dare even think about it,” Taehyung growled. The men smirked.
“We’ll just do it,” another laughed. Taehyung felt several pricks into his skin and lost feeling in his body. He looked down and saw tranquilizers sticking out of his chest and legs. He screamed for Jimin to run but it was too late, he was hit as well.
The last thing Taehyung saw was the look of betrayal on Jimin's face before everything went dark.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Hey there Rin! I apologize for jumping into your story in the middle of it, but I wanted to just leave you a quick review in these last few minutes of review day! Hopefully it can still be helpful.
It was a really good contrast to Taehyung's much more serious demeanor and it adds a lot of tension to the scene to know that Jimin has no idea of why they're really going.
I really immediately liked Jimin at the beginning of this chapter. He seems so enthusiastic and sweet. I love how excited he is at the prospect of this trip to Japan.
And wow, that went bad so quickly! I'm actually kind of invested already even though I just got here - are Jimin and his father going to be okay? Did these people just want Taehyung or did they want Jimin too?
There are a few parts that feel clunky, mostly some of Taehyung's inner dialogue, but overall this chapter read really smoothly, especially the action sequences. The dialogue was also great, both Jimin's excitability and the thugs' cold words. I think you could mostly work on your summary/transition sequences, where you move from one scene to the next. Sometimes they're a little confusing or just read awkwardly. Part of it is due to your paragraph transitions - a good rule of thumb is to start a new paragraph and clearly mark the change in location at the beginning of the sentence instead of at the end.
And I think that's about all I've got for you for this review! Sorry it's a little shorter than my normal reviews. Let me know if you have any questions, and good luck and keep writing!
thank you so much!
Now see Rin, I feel like we've bonded a little in since I started reading this and now you're going to leave me like this?! How is that fair Rin? :p
And like I said earlier, if I run out of green room things during review day I might go back and review the chapters I haven't reviewed yet.
I knew something was going to go wrong! I still think Irene has something to do with it and she tipped someone off, but did Taehyung really think Minjun wouldn't follow him? I feel like he's partially to blame in this too.
Again, I think Jimin is a little too naive. Especially given what's already happened to his family, this trip is way too good to be true and I'm surprised he's not more cautious or optimistically skeptical about the whole thing when he tells his dad about it. He has to know that there are still people out that have something against his family, right?
I want you to slow down the whole car chase scene. That should be a really tense scene that puts me on the edge of my seat, and I think the whole thing goes by too quickly. Short sentences and short paragraphs to keep the reader moving faster. But way more description. Show us every little thing that's happening and the emotions and reactions of everyone in the car. From the beginning of maybe seeing headlights really close behind them and wondering what is that, go around, to that first hit when surprise starts to set in, all the way up to the sheer panic at the end. Show us the progression of the emotions and really get into the descriptions there.
I hope Taehyung is going to be able to talk himself out of this once they show up at wherever these people are taking them (to the Swan right). I don't think this bodes well for any of them and I hope it turns out okay!!
Let me know if you have any questions or if you'd like feedback about something I didn't mention! Also feel free to tag me when you post the next part and I'll do my best to keep up with it
#TeamRavenclaw
I feel bad for laughing XD
I know I didn't update for a while then did this, I'll try and write an update this week for sure though
I'm definitely once I have everything written I'm going to go back and make these chapters wayyyy better and detailed for sure, I've been getting that feedback from a few readers and I completely agree!
Thank you so much for all these reviews!