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The Secret of The Swan Ch24

by Rin321


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Minjun paced his room trying to think. The Swan lied to Taehyung and said that he had ratted him out but he didn’t, it was Jungkook. He knew Taehyung was up to something and followed him to Jimin’s house. There he saw Jungkook pull up and see what was going on and call for backup. It was too late for him to do anything, and correcting The Swan would be a death wish, He knew he was trying to make Taehyung distrust him to isolate him more.

Minjun cursed to himself and kicked the bed. Why was he doing this to Taehyung? He especially couldn’t do anything now that The Swan was planning to keep him here and watch his every move. How was he gonna get him and the Parks out of there safe? There almost seemed to be no answer. He knew he needed to update Yoongi.

Getting dressed and getting under the covers, he dialed Yoongi’s cell hoping that he could be quiet enough to not be picked up by any bugs that could be in the room.

“What do you want at this hour?” Yoongi had mumbled as a greeting. It was only then that Minjun noticed it was almost three in the morning. He couldn’t wait to pass the news, however.

“Look, we have a situation here. The Swan’s play-son, Jimin, and his father are in his mansion, We all are here on lockdown. The boy was on his way to the airport with the other two for some reason, I think he was trying to save them but Jungkook caught them and reported before I could do anything,” Minjun whispered. He could hear a string of curses on the other line.

“What are we going to do? Jimin and his father are going to die soon at this rate, do you know anything else?”

“The Parks are being kept in the lower dungeon, the boy locked in a room. I can tell he cares for Jimin and his father, and so can The Swan. I think he’s planning on forcing Taehyung to torture them tomorrow to punish them all.”

Minjun shuddered at the thought. He wanted to try and do something to let Taehyung know he was on his side but he had no ability to show any type of kindness for the boy, not in the Devil’s lair.

“We have to do something, is there a way for me to sneak in? We could ambush The Swan. He has to be vulnerable,” Yoongi pushed. Minjun sat in silence for a moment trying to collect together a useful thought.

“The Swan said he wanted to meet with me and catch me up tomorrow at ten, I don’t know what to do there. I’m surrounded by his men and he’s loaded at all times,” he trailed off.

“What time do the house workers come in? Could I sneak in well enough? I could wait and grab one of the men before they come in, try and get in that room-”

“What if he knows you and recognizes you? You’re pretty easy to spot, especially with that hair-”

“I’m already headed out the door to get some black dye, so don’t worry about that. Tell me what room and I will be there. Don’t underestimate my hate for the bastard,” Yoongi finished, growling.

Minjun filled him in on the layout of the mansion and where he needed to be. Yoongi promised to be in the room loaded, he was gonna shoot him point-blank when he least expected it, hopefully, quick enough that the guards would stand down. With an ID swiped and uniform and his head kept down, it was possible for him to get in but he knew the chances of Yoongi getting out alive were slim.

“Why are you putting your life on the line like this?” Minjun asked before they would hang up.

“Justice. Too many people in this world have been ruined at the hand of this man. I made it my mission to take him down and I will, even if I die trying. I’m not going to give up and abandon Jimin either. What about the boy?”

“I don’t know. He trusts me even less now, I think. He was there the other night we met and seemed to hear everything. Between The Swan telling him that I sold him out and me having to shut him up from blabbing about you and I doubt he has any trust in me at this point,” Minjun sighed.

“Worry about him later, but our first priority is to take out that son-of-a-bitch, you hear me?” Yoongi spat.

“Will do,” Minjun affirmed, hanging up the call. He knew he couldn’t spend too long on the phone and get a few hours of rest before all hell was going to break loose.

He laid there thinking of his family living in the United States, his daughter who had to be married by this point, his wife moved on after grieving what they believed was his death. The Swan set up a job offer to bring them there after faking Minjun’s death. He fought for them every day, hoping one day to make it out alive but after all these years he was losing hope. He knew at least his family was safe. He hoped after tomorrow a new future could open to him, one where he could possibly see them again and fix what had been all given up due to his stupid mistakes that led to him being indebted to The Swan.


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1394 Reviews


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Mon Jun 22, 2020 12:23 am
JabberHut wrote a review...



Hello, I'm back!! Thought I'd keep on reading what you have in the meantime 'cause I'm still very curious. :D

The opening paragraph was a bit confusing to me. There was just a lot of name juggling and pronouns that I'm not sure if I got it straight. So it sounds liiike -- okay, so it's clear to me that the Swan lied about Minjun ratting Taehyung out, and that it was Jungkook who ratted him out instead. So Jungkook had followed Taehyung and called for backup, and thus it was too late for Minjun to do anything? I think I figured it out. The "It was too late for him to do anything" bit was a transition from backstory to present, so it was too late for Minjun to do anything about the Swan lying to Taehyung. It's still a bit fuzzy though and could use some restructuring there.

I wonder why Minjun is kicking himself. Is he upset that he's lying ot Taehyung right now and not correcting the Swan's lie, thereby stringing Taehyung along?

Bahahaha I like how you snuck in the time of day/night. Very clever and a fun bought of personalities here!

omg I love the Devil's lair metaphor.

Oooh this filled in some more blanks for me. So Minjun reacted the way he did to Taehyung because he didn't want him to say anything about Yoongi and give them all away. So that totally makes sense why Minjun couldn't say anything to Taehyung, and I can still see Taehyung's perspective and understand why he'd be upset. I like what you're doing there. That conflict is going to trip them up here shortly, I can tell!

This conversation is rather long considering the possibility that a bug could pick up on their discussion. I feel like this would be a bit snappier, like Minjun or Yoongi would be more decisive and have a plan already. There seems to be a lot of floundering in their words, and I don't think they have the time for that.

That said, Yoongi sounds like an old soul. He has no qualms with risking his own life to take down a threat like the Swan. This is SUCH a fun and cool character to have around. I still think Yoongi has some motivation, which he might've gently alluded to in his explanation, but I'd definitely like to know his backstory and see what exactly he has against someone like the Swan. (This could easily come up later too so I'm just speculating.) Maybe his family has been victimized by the Swan? Or friends? Or an old history? Maybe the Swan reminds him of a different threat he was personally involved with and promised himself to never allow such a threat to freely exist?

Omg this last paragraph is jam-packed with Minjun backstory and how heart-breaking to think about. This is exactly the kind of motivation I was talking about. I can totally believe Minjun has a vendetta against the Swan, giving him the motivation he needs to carry him through this mission. I also really really hope he gets a happily ever after. I have a soft spot for family men and I just. I hope he can see his family again. That is just awful. :(

Gosh, I hope this plan goes well. I can only imagine what might go wrong. Something's gonna go wrong. I can feel it. T_T

A good read! It's advancing the plot more, and I'm curious as to how this is going to go for them. Hopefully they find a way out of this one 'cause it sounds like they ended up in quite the pickle. I like that! You've managed to get all yoru characters into such a difficult, nail-biting situation. It feels impossible yet there's GOT to be a way, and I can't wait to find out how!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!




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Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:50 pm
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WaterSpout wrote a review...



Hello there, Rin321, you have probably given up on trying to get reviews - and if you haven't, that is great! Because - I am here to review your work! But before we begin, I would like to say I am not that good at plot building and character developing. So if you were expecting that, I am sorry to disappoint, you can stop reading this. But, if you want to see the grammatical and small errors, they will appear not too long!
So let's get started!

There he saw Junkook pull up and see what was going on and call for backup.

I am not sure if you meant to say Jungkook or if Junkook is another character. If Junkook is another character, I would advice against making similar names. Bare in mind I am not familiar with this story, so it was probably a typo.
Moving on

“Look, we have a situation here. The Swan’s play-son, Jimin, and his father are in his mansion, We all are here on lockdown.

That part was a little hard to read. I would advice to change it to We are all here, that way, it flows better.

Jimin and his father are going to die soon at this rate, do you know anything else?”

Maybe move at this rate to the beginning? If not, then it's fine.

He wanted to try and do something to let Taehyung know he was on his side but he had no ability to show any type of kindness for the boy, not in the Devil’s lair.

Maybe change that to could not. Notice these are all suggestions.
Oh, and another suggestion is to add a little summary at the top to refresh the memory of the reader. That way, people don't have to go back to the last chapter and reread it. Just a suggestion...

With an ID swiped and uniform and his head kept down, it was possible for him to get in but he knew the chances of Yoongi getting out alive were slim.

Change it to he could get.

I think that it.
Overall, good story. Have a wonderful day.

With caution,

WaterSpout




Rin321 says...


you're right, it's Jungkook! good catch there!
Thank you for the other suggestions as well!!
Great review, thank you for your time! :)




Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!
— Dr. Seuss