z

Young Writers Society


12+ Language

The Secret of The Swan: Ch4

by Rin321


Taehyung’s heart was racing when he walked out of the 7-Eleven. Why would he directly make contact with Park Jimin? Not only did he talk to him, but he knew that he had made an impression. He groaned at his conscience.

He was fine until he saw the news report. It had been two years since he had committed the murder, so there was very little to find. There was only a little DNA to get off the body after being in the water for so long. There were no suspects, and the fact that he was a successful detective only made the list of people with motive be a large one. He knew he was in the clear, but his conscience had caught up to him. He had turned in the aisle to get away from the broadcast but saw the girl putting snacks into her bag. He watched her not pay for them and leave and tried to catch up to her to make her pay for it, but decided to just do it himself. He didn’t know why he felt the urge to do this, but he just knew it made him feel a little better.

What really stayed with him was Jimin’s smile- Park’s smile. The fact that he felt at ease and happy around him was dangerous. He was his next target, and he couldn’t develop any positive feelings about him. He was lucky that he had not been assigned any new targets since Jung until Park Jimin had come along, but now he couldn’t show The Swan that he had gone soft in these two years, not if he valued his life.

The Swan was his savior when he was seven. All he remembered before The Swan had taken financial care of him was being in the local orphanage. He didn’t know who his parents were, or why he was abandoned, but he had to live in poor conditions among dozens of other little boys.

One night he had gotten into a fight with another boy that resulted in the staff locking him in a room alone until one could come with the paddle. They were liberal with the physical punishment and Taehyung couldn’t take another beating. He was lucky that the window was unlocked and snuck out of the orphanage. He ran as far as he could go and soon found himself alone in the streets, cold and in the dark. He was found shivering in an alley by a man in a suit.

Taehyung still to this day didn’t know how the man found him, or why he trusted him, but he followed the man to his car. From there, he was taken to a modest home where he was welcomed by the servants of the home.

Within his first few weeks living there, he had learned that a man who had gone by the cover “The Swan” had decided to take financial responsibility for him. Whatever Taehyung needed, he got. He was given homeschooling, clothes, food, and any toys he wanted. He had never seen, still to this day, the man who had given him these material gifts.

He lived under the eye of Minjun, The Swan’s best worker. He had basically raised Taehyung since he had arrived. He was slightly intimidated by him when he first brought him to the home and spent time with him, but Minjun quickly softened upon getting to know the boy with a heart of gold. Minjun was the closest thing Taehyung had for a father and loved him with all of his heart.

Throughout it all, since being under The Swan’s wing, Taehyung had nothing to complain about. There was never a need to get an actual job, which would be hard without a birth certificate or other official documents anyway so it worked. The Taehyung that had lived in the orphanage fifteen years ago was gone, assumed to be dead. He was lucky that he didn’t die. He owed his life to The Swan.

He had spoken to The Swan over the phone and text message, but he had yet to ever see him. When he was younger and first was taken from the streets, he had asked The Swan if he could ever meet him. He had laughed at Taehyung and said that it wasn’t necessary and promised that he would be very disappointed with what he saw. With that, he made Taehyung promise not to ask to see him again, so he complied.

Taehyung had gotten back home when he took out his keys and went inside. Taking off his hoodie and tossing it to the side, he went to the living room and found Minjun sprawled across the house watching Descendants of the Sun. He groaned at Minjun’s cheesy tastes. “How many times do you have to watch this? At least watch a new cheesy kdrama, huh?” He griped.

Minjun dismissed him with a wave of his hand and kept his eye on the screen. “It’s a classic, you should appreciate its true value! Come watch it with me!” Taehyung chuckled at the sight. Never would he have thought he would see the big and serious Minjun be in sweats watching kdramas when he first met him fifteen years ago.

“Not it the mood,” Taehyung sighed. He took his phone from his pocket and began scrolling through the latest book he was reading. He heard Minjun scoff at him.

“You and your books,” Minjun teased, shaking his head and tutting at him. Taehyung groaned and got off his phone and turned to the man. “Why don’t you put on something respectable and go out to lunch with me? We haven’t spent time together in a while, I could use some time to relax and feel normal.”

Minjun sat up and stretched. “Okay, if you insist,” he finally said, making Taehyung smile. He paused the tv and looked at Taehyung. “What have you done to me? I could be relaxing here but I choose to make you happy.”

Taehyung laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “Well, we can talk about it while we drown our problems in kimchi, hm?” Minjun’s eyes widened at the mention of kimchi and got up to get dressed.

Taehyung smiled and grabbed the remote, turning off the kdrama to watch something else while he waited. When he went to the last channel, flashing reports about finding Jung Hoseok’s body flashed on the screen. Taehyung quickly powered off the tv and tossed the remote. He grimaced as he held his face in his hands. He felt guilty.

Before he could fall into his guilt too deeply, Minjun walked into the living room with his car keys. “Let us go!” Taehyung replaced his sullen disposition with a bright smile and got up to follow Minjun. At least he could forget for a little while.


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Wed Feb 12, 2020 4:48 am
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writerkitty wrote a review...



^^ Hellooo, it's writerkitty back with another review!!

O.o Ooh, so it WAS Taehyung who came to the store after all! And... o.o his next target IS Jimin, oh no

He was fine until he saw the news report. It had been two years since he had committed the murder, so there was very little to find. There was only a little DNA to get off the body after being in the water for so long. There were no suspects, and the fact that he was a successful detective only made the list of people with motive be a large one. He knew he was in the clear, but his conscience had caught up to him. He had turned in the aisle to get away from the broadcast but saw the girl putting snacks into her bag. He watched her not pay for them and leave and tried to catch up to her to make her pay for it, but decided to just do it himself. He didn’t know why he felt the urge to do this, but he just knew it made him feel a little better.


;-; Aww, poor Taehyung, although he's a skilled killer and all, his past actions just keep haunting him. >.> Poor guy, trying to make himself feel a better buy paying for the goods that girl stole...

I think you always do a good job in portraying the guilt and regret that builds up in Taehyung after killing someone. The readers would usually hate him for what he's done, but the way you portray how he's mentally hurt and repents on it, makes us feel the opposite. And we get to understand that he's doing it all against his free will. >.> He deserves better, and the Swan should really pay for all the crimes he'd committed.


Yay! Backstory!"

*ahem* I'm a big fan for backstories... xD

Ooh...so The Swan took him in when he was homeless and gave him everything he required. O.o So that's why he 'owes them'

Taehyung still to this day didn’t know how the man found him, or why he trusted him, but he followed the man to his car. From there, he was taken to a modest home where he was welcomed by the servants of the home.


>.< Bad choice my boy...but I think something worse would've happened to young Taehyung if he stayed on the streets o.o

I think the Swan took him in for selfish reasons. O.o Maybe he wanted someone who'd work for him loyally without causing any trouble. We have no clue whether someone had betrayed him in the past...so that's a possibility...>.> The Swan did give him a harsh punishment for a small mistake he'd done but forgave him, I wonder it if would've been different if someone else had done the mistake. 0.0

Throughout it all, since being under The Swan’s wing, Taehyung had nothing to complain about. There was never a need to get an actual job, which would be hard without a birth certificate or other official documents anyway so it worked. The Taehyung that had lived in the orphanage fifteen years ago was gone, assumed to be dead. He was lucky that he didn’t die. He owed his life to The Swan.


I'm certain this was intentional. :P So no one will ever be able to figure out his actual identity, it's easier to cover up for his crimes because it's like Taehyung literally doesn't exist! :O clever thinking Swan

He lived under the eye of Minjun, The Swan’s best worker. He had basically raised Taehyung since he had arrived. He was slightly intimidated by him when he first brought him to the home and spent time with him, but Minjun quickly softened upon getting to know the boy with a heart of gold. Minjun was the closest thing Taehyung had for a father and loved him with all of his heart.


New character! ^^
Aw, well, I'm kinda glad Taehyung has someone he could call his 'family' even though they're probably serial killers or something o.o at least Minjun treated him like his son xD Now I'm curious to know more about Minjun


I really liked this chapter! It was really interesting to read and I can see the story build up quite nicely! ^^
Most of the questions I had in the previous chapter got answered here, and now I have a lot more new questions... so I can't wait to read more!! :D

:D Keep up the good work and never stop writing!!

writerkitty




Rin321 says...


Thank you so much for such an uplifting review! I'm so glad you're loving it!



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Mon Feb 10, 2020 3:19 pm
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Honora wrote a review...



Hey Rin! I have just a short review for you today :)

Ok so the only thing that I find I can point out again is the format of your dialogue but I know it’s not a strong point for you as you’ve told me as much.

I’m really liking the dynamic of of Taeyhung’s character. His guilt reminds me that he is still a human and although he is a killer, he isn’t at heart. I’m really curious to see how he deals with this as he has to kill Jimin. And IF he will actually be able to do it. I could be wrong but I sense that there could be some complications with this job ;)

Anyways, that’s all I have for you for now!

Your friend,
Honora




Rin321 says...


Thank you for reading and reviewing!!



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Sat Feb 08, 2020 2:23 am
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This isn't a review, Just a comment. I like how Taehyung likes books. Also, It is interesting to see how long he can delay the guilt of being in The Swan and killing Jung.





seeing this tag and going "oh what's this? :)" then getting slapped in the face with shady's good grammar is the worst thing that's ever happened to me
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