Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,201 Literary Works • 672,505 Reviews
Hi Raven! It's been a while since I reviewed something of yours and this one piqued my interest. Can't wait to dig in to a lovely poem of yours.
This whole paragraph was beautiful. I loved the description and label you gave it.That upon which my dragon's eye fixed
First of all, I love the picture. It helped a lot when I could think back to, or scroll up to, it when reading.
I liked how the beginning set the scenery and from this point on you were guiding the reader in/through the scene you had already created in your mind.
Some loose scales
These are just minor things and didn't detract from the writing at all but I thought I'd point them out.
(Also I don't know much about poetry so take my comments with a grain of salt)
It felt like ending both statements with 'you' (even with the question after) could have been a bit better.
I felt like this line kind of stopped/broke up any poetic flow the story had. Like I had to pause for the instruction part of it.
When I think of a poem, the first thing I look for is a rhyme scheme or rhythm to it. Your story didn't seem to have one so it felt less like a poem to me.
As mighty wing soar overall
This felt more like a guided meditation than a poem but that's fine. The stanza's worked well and divided up writing beautifully. Then again, I don't really understand the 'rules' of poetry.
It was wonderfully calming and a great journey to take anyone down.
Final wisdom of the scaled one
It is indeed a great idea to set aside some time in the day to just be present and relax. You can go almost anywhere in your mind no matter the circumstances surrounding you.
No matter where you are a green meadow, calm stream, or lone tree are waiting. But sometimes you need a little help to get you there
May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.
Hi Dragon!! Long time no see! I see what you%u2019re saying about scheme%u2014I think I%u2019ll come back to this soon and do some improvements, especially since its been a while lol. Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
Hi! Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this poem. It was really calming and honestly, really relaxing to read. Having based it off of a meditation technique as inspiration for your poem isn't something seen often, which makes it unique. I like how the poem goes through the different parts of the technique, narrating it in a way that is also teaching the reader. I don't really have anything else to say other than it was very relaxing to read.
Keep up the good work!
Hello!! I'm so happy that you enjoyed, and thank you so much for deciding to read and review! Much appreciated!
Also, a belated welcome to YWS!
Hi @RavenAkuma!
It's been a long time since I've done a review, a really long time. There won't be any critiques of any kind, really can't think of any. I did want to drop in to say that I love this! I think the fact that it's inspired by a meditation technique makes it even more noticeable. The picture is in the perfect spot, provided the perfect break and scenery. I don't do much meditation, it's difficult for me. But I really, really enjoyed this piece, I could really feel everything.
Cheers!
Firespygirl
Hello!! I'm so glad you enjoyed this!! Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing!