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139,201 Literary Works • 672,505 Reviews
For those who didn't understand or would like clarification anyway...
This poem was inspired by many stories (some from hidden spots around the media, but mostly from relatives of my own) about struggles with custody, the foster care system, state corruption around children, and when it all fails.
Spoiler
By extension, I'd like to make it clear that this is not addressing all foster families, nor is it meant to discredit anyone's personal experiences or make any kind of political statement, or anything like that, and I'm sorry if that was the perception.
Hi hi!
This is so gorgeous! I'm in love with this poem! :O
It's hard to write about serious issues like what you've mentioned below, but I think you've done it perfectly! I don't personally have experience with issues like that, but I can feel the rawness here. Even if I didn't have the clarification, I would've assumed this was about foster care or an abusive parent. The want for freedom and the forced dependence is just haunting! It's such a captivating way to describe the topic.
The bird imagery is beautiful! The idea of the "mother bird" character is perfect for the guise of authority you've written. There is an overwhelming feeling of dread that I feel when I see all of the bird imagery. For example, the thorn-filled nest! The imagery is nurturing and motherly at first, but over the course of the poem, it unfolds into the feeling that something is off. That is felt throughout the poem!
I usually don't like structured poetry, but the refrain really works here! The repetition of “Mother Bird, Mother Bird” reinforces the sense of helplessness that they must be feeling. It feels like someone is pleading! That is perfect for the theme!
Though, some stanzas feel slightly heavier than others in terms of content and the rhythming. For example, the shift from describing the "stolen eggs" to giving advice to caregivers feels abrupt! It's not that the pacing is off, but I feel like you're trying to juggle too many ideas at once. Some metaphors don't get the same amount of attention I think. Maybe you could try to connect it better!
This was stunning though! It made me feel so many things! It's hard to truly capture emotion, but you've done it *so* well here! This is so good! ^-^
~ Seoyoung
Ah, thank you so much for such a lovely review! And I totally get what you're saying about the structure, I really appreciate the recommendation!
That's a powerful message to the world and especially (what I liked most about it) to other "fledglings" who aren't appreciating their cracked homes, but still homes. Gratitude is waht would really move the world forward. It's nice to be reminded, thanks!
Thank you for reading and sharing your opinion!
Nice poem written by the author.
This poem is full of messages the author wants to convey to her/his mother from a long time. Its a mother's duty to look after its children, but what if her children don't listen to her (that's not the case here). They want to soar high in the sky, but their mother is not pulling them out of those past, bad memories (here refers to the thorny nest) and still the mother expects her children to fly high in the sky like other children, not possible. Caring about someone does mean to just ask them if they are ok, it means to worry about them, from the start till the end. I can relate and I understand what you are trying to convey here.
Here is what I can understand from the poem.
Awesome poem.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
Thank you for the review! ^^