Enchanted Violinist (part 2!)

by Que

It only took Eliza and I three days to reach The Enclave. I am scared more than I wish to admit, but even so I came with her. I need to see the others who are like me. I need to know how to control my talent.

I know now that I should have stayed with those I first met, the ones who were so interested in my music. I'll see them now again, I suppose. I hope they don't hate me for running away.

Eliza had been teaching me along the way, more about the emotions conveyed through music and a little bit on how to convey them properly. She teaches me how to not get carried away like my first experience. Other than that, we didn’t talk much. I was unwilling to bring up my past, and Eliza wasn’t ready to share hers, either.

The Enclave is smaller than I expect, only about ten people grouped together.

"Only the most talented of us all," Eliza whispers when she sees my surprised gaze. I only nod in response, shyness taking control of me.

Eliza clears her throat and everyone stops talking and looks to the entrance of the building where we stand.

"Hello everyone, it's good to see you again," Eliza begins, talking casually as if she has known everyone there for a long time. "I've found another one of us, Aaron. The one we've been searching for the longest."

Eliza pushes me forward slightly and I awkwardly wave. I have no idea what to do and I begin to turn away when one of the people calls out to me.

"What instrument are you gifted with?" he asks. I look towards him and hold my violin aloft.

"I play the violin, if that's what you mean," I reply softly, still a little nervous. The murmuring starts up again and I turn to Eliza for help.

"Aaron, do you see anyone you know?" she mutters in my ear. I look at the ten again and start to shake my head- then I suddenly stop.

"Lily!" I cry. An older woman stops talking abruptly and turns towards me.

"Aaron?" she asks. "It's you, isn't it?"

"Yes! Yes it is." Setting down my violin, I run to her and she gathers me up into her arms.

"I've missed you," I sob into her shoulder. She pats my back reassuringly. I pull away and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. Eliza raises an eyebrow but says nothing.

"She took me in when no one else would," I say by way of explanation. "She's like a second mother to me, but she was very interested in my musical skill and I got scared. I ran away. Again."

Eliza smirks, which she seems to do very often. "You seem to run away a lot, don't you? You should know that running away doesn't solve your problems. You need to face them."

"I know that now,” I say. The rest of the Enclave turn towards me again, as if expecting something.

An older man steps forward. “Well, what are you waiting for?” he asks. “Play, boy!”

Surprised, I step back and reach down for my violin. Unlatching the case, I hold the instrument under my chin and ready the bow, the perfect model of correct posture.

I close my eyes and begin to play a new piece, a song that tells them who I am. It begins with the happiness of my youth, the fear of running away, of the hard life with minimal food. I occasionally add in a beautiful melody to represent the people who took me in and cared for me.

Every emotion is displayed effortlessly; my need to fit in, my love of the violin, the longing to be with my own kind. I finally end on a quavering chord full of expectation.

Opening my eyes, I see the Enclave and Eliza staring at me, agape. My eyebrows furrow together in confusion. Did I do something wrong?

The old man is first to speak. He seems to be a sort of leader among the group. “Aaron,” he said, “that was magnificent. Magnificent, I say! You… you are the most talented of all of us. With a little bit of proper training…”

“H-huh?” I say, bewildered as to what was going on. The man says nothing, only narrowing his eyes.
Then suddenly: “Who are your parents, boy? Where are they now? Why aren't they with you?” Startled, I jerked back.

“Sheila and Geoffry Patterson,” I say angrily. “And they’re dead!” My feelings towards the Enclave suddenly change. What gives them rights to talk to me like that, to interrogate me on my past and personal life?

Eliza begins to back away from me and the man in front of me slowly nodded his head. “Everybody out,” he announces. The rest of the Enclave walks out of the building.

“Lily!” I call, but she merely shakes her head and continues walking away. Only Eliza stays. “Eliza,” I say. She and Lily are the only ones I want to see right now, to talk to. Not this strange man. Looking ashamed, Eliza turns away as well.

When the doors finally close, the man smiles. Something is off about it…

“Aaron Sylvain Patterson,” he said. “Your parents were the greatest of us all. Your father played the bass and your mother the cello. That and your difficult past makes you the most talented Manipulator of us all. You don’t need any training whatsoever, just practice.”

“But… you said…” I falter, slowly taking a step back. “When did I say that my middle name was Sylvain?”

The man grins evilly and whisks the cover off an object in the corner of the room. It’s a piano. He sits down on the bench and stretches his fingers, looking over at me.

“I lied, Aaron. I am the greatest of us all. I always was. Only your mother came close. I loved her, but she despised me and ran off with your jerk of a father. We haven’t seen her since then. I wanted revenge, but lacked the skills to track your parents. Instead, I became the head of the Enclave, of all Manipulators. I acted nice, befriended them, and began preparing for you.” I continue backing towards the door.

“Of course, I didn’t know who you were at the time, only that Sheila had always longed for a child. I knew it wouldn’t be long. I also knew that the child’s talent would be greater then any before seen on this planet. Except for mine. And now, I shall destroy you and have my revenge.”
At this point I reach the door. As I grasp the handle and pull, the man plays a chord on the piano and the door bolts itself shut. I ready my violin once again and swallow nervously.

“My name is Antonio Meluchi,” the man says, “and today is the day you die.” Antonio begins to play and my legs move forward towards him unwillingly. Instantly, I begin playing a counter melody and gain control of my own body once more.

“Very good,” Antonio says, “and just as skilled as I thought. But what about dealing with pain?” He begins to play a series of jagged, minor chords on the lower end of the keyboard.

At first, I am not affected, but then all of the horrible feelings from when I was younger rush back, all at once. Then I begin to feel spikes of pain all over my body, enough to bring me to my knees. I do my best to play a healing song on my violin and it certainly works, but I cannot win this by staying on the defensive.

I pummel Antonio with the worst depression imaginable, enough to drive one to suicide. However, the man practically ignores the feelings, only momentarily looking pained, and one piano note later he is perfectly normal.

He chuckles. “You’ll have to do better than that, boy.” For the next thirty minutes or so we battle, and I can barely hold my own, let alone strike back at the man. I lie on the floor, exhausted and covered all over with bruises and scratches. 

“Do you give up, boy?” Antonio asks with a smirk. In response, I draw my bow across the violin strings and a long, hollow, pleading note sings. The man looks momentarily confused, and I offer a weak smile.

Moments later, Eliza breaks down the door and bursts into the room. She takes one look at me and then turns her attention to Antonio.

“You,” she snarls. “I knew you couldn’t be trusted! I shouldn’t have left Aaron alone with you.” Eliza twirls her silver flute between her fingers and brings it to her lips. Her music has little to no effect on Antonio as well. Antonio merely has to twitch his fingers and she goes flying across the room, sliding to a stop beside me. She is breathing hard.

She looks me in the eye and nods. There is only one thing we can do. My lips twitch upwards in a slight smile.

“One..” Eliza whispers. “Two… Three!” We begin to play, harmonizing perfectly together. Antonio freezes and then begins to hammer away feverishly at the piano. Our song waxes stronger and the man grows more frantic. Finally, the man screams and faints. The violin slips out of my hands and my head slumps to the side.

Eliza crawls over to me and gathers me into her arms. “I’m so so sorry,” she whispers. “Aaron. Aaron, I’m sorry for not coming sooner. I’m sorry for putting your life in danger.” I try to say something, to tell her that I’m okay, but before I get the chance to, I black out.

Comments & reviews · 4
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FeatherPen
Comment

Cool story, go violins!Remided me I should go and practice, thanks.

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Ashkitten83
Review

Forgive me, but I feel like I read the first chapter which was magnificent....and then I skipped chapters 2-15 and read the ending of the whole story. I read the first story and I had so many questions, and then chapter 2 it was over? Just like that. In the first chapter, you rushed to the present moment with a back story, and that really didn't bother me, although you could've started at the present and revealed that later. I loved the musical battle but it all just came too soon. I wanted to see the dynamic of how he fit into the group, and then maybe he started sensing something was fishy with Antonio. the build up of Antonio as the group leader and showing how much everyone trusts him. I'd love to have seen how Aaron gets a long with the other kids and musicians. I'd love to have seen a little bit of a love triangle with Eliza and Aaron and another musical character. I'd love to have seen him come to terms with his parents murder, and an explanation of what happened that night...maybe he finds out that Antonio is more than he seems and he snoops a bit in his office, and finds something. I'd like to have really there been more story before the ending. This is something I could've sat down and read for hours but it didn't last long enough for me to really get to know the characters. One thing about having a villain, the more you play that villain up as a likable character, the more surprised the audience will be when you reveal him/her as evil. I can see you are 14, so my advice is to take it slow. Give Us time as readers to really get into the story. I find this story line very fascinating and intriguing and I haven't seen it done before, that being said it has EXCELLENT potential to be soooooo much more. I can see this being a trilogy, or a book series. You just have to give us more. I know you probably wanted to get all your ideas for plot twists out, but now that you know the plot twists, (which for most people is the hardest part) now just flesh your story out some more. I have that problem too sometimes. but how would you feel if Harry potter chapter 1 he found out he's a wizard and chapter 2 he's fighting Lord Voldemort? This story has the potential to be as great as the award winning series Harry Potter, with the right character development And plot development I'd definitely buy a book like this, and I know many other people that would as well. We see the bones, now give us some flesh. I reallllllly hope you take my advice because I honestly am now a fan and want to read more, in between what happens at the beginning and the big fight. I reallllly realllly do!!!!

Thank you for the review, I have been planning to write more, but it is taking some time. I was going to write about his new life with the musicians after the musical battle, but maybe it would be better before this... I need to plan a bit more, but thank you so much for the kind words!

This could be a book series and the music battle could be the end of the first book. I love the characters, and I can't wait til you write more!!!!

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kevin25a
Review

Loved it tenfold from the last chapter. The music battle was really interesting, I personally saw no problem with it. A healing melody would be soothing, an attacking song would be loud like heavy metal or hard rock. I saw no reason to explain it. And I think not explaining the enclave was actually a genius idea. It leaves room to let the reader picture it themselves so it can uniquely conform to each reader. I think it was a bit too soon for the a villain or a person who dislikes the main character to show but that's just me.

I don't know if it's just my imagination but Antonio Meluchi sounds like a familiar name I heard in a movie about the Italian mob. The name in general is of Italian origin anyway.

To restate though I absolutely love the story, and am looking forward to your next chapters.

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Chaser
Review
Chaser wrote a review · Sun Apr 05, 2015 5:32 am

Interesting.

This story was an absolute pleasure to read. A unique setting, enjoyable people, and a grand description. I just wish that there was more.

What's the journey to the Enclave like, environment-wise? A sentence or two would wrap up that issue.

What do the people in the Enclave look like? What do they wear, what physical features define them, and how do they act? Every word counts.

I hate to be greedy for description, but the music could use just a bit more detail. What kinds of music do they play? Jigs, waltzes, dirges, folk? Tempo and mood could be worked in as well. Since it's the centerpiece of the story, it requires the best description to enthrall the reader. Usually, a word or two in between fixes that issue.

Antonio Meluchi seems to be an easy-to-hate character, but he's just a bit cliche. You could add some more background for him now or later to help him deviate from that archetype.

Also, what are the Enclave people doing outside after Antonio dismisses them? Just curious.

Since I want to end this on a high note (ba-dum tsss), I'll say that this is an excellent, unique story with understandable characters and an exciting mix of emotion and action. A few fine-tuned details would help, while setting could be expounded upon. With a bit of improvement, this story could be pitch-perfect.


-Chaser

Thank you for the review! I shall try and add in some details as soon as I can. I'm glad you liked it!



Almost all absurdity of conduct rises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.
— Samuel Johnson