I asked you to give me something real
You gave me the stars
When I wanted your love
Besides,
They're all dead, anyway.
The room's alive again;
My head rolls back
As I collapse onto the
Horrible blue armchair
You always loved
(I couldn't bear to be rid of it)
It's curious;
More alive than you could ever be
Your heart stopped beating
When the silences could no longer be filled
Or maybe it's just the sound of your breathing
Echoing back to me
On the victrola
Funny how it makes my chest tighten
Almost as if you were actually here
(You haven't been back in years;)
So much has changed,
Why do I still live here?
Where the walls reek of memories
When you played the harpsichord
For me
Somehow each key you depress
Makes the silence louder
My finger is full of dust
Your dust
Dust from your harpsichord
You left in my keeping
Yet you never returned
You gave me lessons, long ago
On how to fill silences
I can't recall the melody
But I play the notes all the same
The air is thrumming
With newfound noise
But the silence inside of me
Remains untouched
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139,441 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Hello! Here for a review!
So I did not fully understand the poem
Is the lover dead?
Was the lover an ex, who left his fortune to you?
Either way, I loved the description, and I could easily picture it as if I were there.
Good luck with your writing, and keep it up!
And if this also involved a real life incident, I hope you are okay.
Thanks for the review! The person (lover I suppose) leaves the narrator. This is the fourth and last poem in a little collection, so maybe this would be more obvious if you read through the other three. And it's not real life, just some late night thoughts from a year ago. ^_^
Heya, Falconer! Casanova here to do a review for you! I"ll be taking this stanza by stanza, so I hope that's okay. To the review!
I really like the last three lines. That's the imagery I like to see, that's the emotion I want to see and feel. SO props for that- I find those three lines to be the best out of the poem. The first three lines feel as if they're just building up to it, and I don't think held anything for me. Anyway, onward.
I think I"ll stop there.
Overall you have a classic love/loss idea here, ad I respect that, but think that it could use some tweaking in the imagery and emotion in most places. I think that's all I have to say on this one, and I hope it helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron
Thanks for the review!