I didn't realize what I could do until the night my parents died.
I had played the violin from a very young age, a child prodigy. I was happy, and I conveyed that cheerful feeling through my playing.
I brought my small village together as one. Everyone came to see me play, everyone was joyful. They would gather around me, chanting my name, "Aaron! Aaron! Aaron!" I had all the friends I could ever ask for.
One day, a stranger came to town. At least, a stranger to me. My parents seemed to know him, however, and suddenly they weren't so happy anymore. The man came to stay at our house, and my parents sent me to my room while they talked over the arrangements.
This was all fine with me, and I started composing a new violin piece, about the mysterious stranger who came to visit. I hadn't gotten very far when I heard raised voices, which had never happened in my life. I put down my violin and crept down the hall.
In the living room, my parents were just turning away angrily from the stranger. Anger. A previously unknown and unseen emotion. I could only watch in shock as the man drew a long gleaming object and stabbed my parents in their backs. The words mamma and papa were still on the tip of my tongue, forever unsaid.
I stood there, wide-eyed, unsure of what to do. I was silent, and the man had not yet noticed me, so I quietly slipped back into my room- back to my violin.
I continued playing the piece I had originally started, but this time I changed it to fit what had just happened. I played as I had never played before. The song was full of emotions I had never felt before. Horror. Rage. Depression. Loathing. I played terrifying things, things never meant to be in music. When I finally stopped playing, I sat down and cried.
My weeping was cut short, however, by a thudding noise coming from the other room. I cautiously walked back to the site of my parents' murder, violin in hand. Averting my eyes from their bodies, I looked to where the man was standing- or had been.
He now lay on the ground, his own hand clutching the knife sticking out of his chest. It didn't take me long to realize that I my music was strong enough to make the stranger commit suicide unwillingly. I had killed him. It was me.
I knew I had to move, so I snatched up some food and put it in a satchel, carrying it along with my violin in its case. Then I left my home forever. I was only ten.
~~~~
In the first few days after I left, I tried to get as far away as possible. I was depressed and cried often, as I had no idea what to do. My parents had been with me my whole life. What was I supposed to do on my own? I loathed the man who killed my parents, but I hated myself more for becoming a killer, albeit accidentally.
I needed to let my emotions out more, but I couldn't. I was scared to even open the case of my violin, beloved though it may be, and I had to keep moving. There was no time for tears. However, my small food supply quickly dwindled, and I was forced to stay in one place.
I selected a spot near a bumpy patch of road and had a tree with huge roots. It was the best spot I could've picked, as I could easily nestle into the hole formed between the roots and the ground and wait.
Every so often, a merchant's wagon would come trundling along. When it hit the bumpy spot, the wagon would jolt and food might fall off unnoticed. Some potatoes, if I was lucky, or a carrot or some lettuce. Once, a piece of ham even flopped off. I feasted that night.
And so I kept myself alive in this manner, although I don't think I could stand to go through that ever again.
One day, a middle-aged woman was riding on the side of a merchant cart. When I scurried out to pick up an ear of corn, she yelled something and the cart stopped. She was coming back for the corn! She saw me and stopped, then bent down with a kind smile on her face.
"Hello there," she said softly. "What's your name? I'm Lily." She brought me home with her, and continued my upbringing. She fed and taught me, just like my parents did. Lily was very interested in my music and loved to hear me play after I had gotten over the horror enough to play again.
She was especially interested in my history with the violin, which I refused to tell her. She got so into it that she began to press me more. I was scared so I ran away again.
In my violin-hating phase, I blamed it for all of my problems. Many times I tried to destroy it, and each time I risked my life to rescue it again. I finally admitted that it was a part of me, good or bad.
A band of travelers found me then, and I joined them for a long time. Yet again, someone was interested in my music. This time it was two: a girl named Juliette and her twin brother, Sam. They both played stringed instruments like me, but they mostly used lyres. I ran away for the last time, but I was older and less likely to be picked up by strangers.
I knew it was time to make my own living, so I signed up to be the apprentice of the first person I saw next. That person just happened to be a blacksmith. Although the pay was good, the work was hard on my hands and I really did love my violin. I tried again and became a baker, but that only lasted about a year.
By then, I knew that the only thing I wanted to do with my life was play the violin. That's when I became a traveling musician, and that's who I've been for about a year now. I have been working on controlling my emotions and music, and still only play when I'm sure that it's safe. I just can't believe it's been seven years.
Recently, I have been visiting a farming town that has been in drought for many years. They are depressed, but have not yet given up.
I play a song for them to awaken their hope, to stir it up and strengthen it. I watch their eyes fill with awe as they feel the effects of my playing.
However, one pair of eyes are different. A girl near the back is leaning against a house wall. Her eyes are narrowed and she smirks. She's interested in my music, too, just like Lily, Juliette, Sam. All of them. This time, I will not run away. My curiosity is piqued. After I finish, the crowd begins to depart. The mysterious girl pushes herself off the wall and walks towards me.
The girl's black hair is streaked with blue, the same color as my violin. "Aaron, right?" she asks. I only nod. "I know what you can do, Aaron. I know what you are."
I do my best to swallow the lump in my throat. "W-what?" I stutter. I mentally curse myself. I haven't stuttered in a long time. I thought I was past that.
The girl shifts her weight and sighs. "Idiot. I saw what you did to those people." Then, after a pause, "It was a good thing."
I touch my head. How... how could she know? How was she not affected as well? I sit down heavily and hug my violin tight to my chest.
From here I can see something silver sticking out of the girl's back pocket. As if she notices my gaze, she takes it out. It's a flute. She begins to play a slow melody.
I blink and my eyes widen. She is amazing! I lift up my violin and play a counter melody , and our two instruments blend together into a perfect sound.
All of the people who had previously dissipated come back, gaping at our song. I can feel the peace and happiness radiating from them. Then the girl shifts the tune slightly and I follow. The people around us form a circle and begin to move counterclockwise.
In all of my time, I was never that good. Never. That is when I know for certain that the girl is like me, able to manipulate feelings to the extreme point of making people do what you want. I was only ever able to strengthen what feelings people already had. Except for that one time. It had only been a suspicion, but now it has been confirmed.
With a final note, we stop playing and the people go back to their houses. The girl tucks her flute away again and sticks out her hand.
"I'm Eliza," she says. "We've been trying to find you for a long time, but you kept running." I take her hand and she pulls me off the ground. I grab my violin case from where it lays abandoned on the ground and clip my violin into it.
"I killed someone," I whisper. I look to the ground, studying the cobblestones intensely. Eliza puts her hand lightly on my shoulder and I lift my brown eyes upwards to meet hers.
"It's okay. You didn't know who you were," Eliza says quietly. "There are others. Come with us. We can teach you. We can use our abilities for good. We can change the world. Come with us. We're your real family now."
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Wow!
Awesome piece!
Go violins! 
). The story kept my attention the whole time, and you did a great job. Keep up the good work! 
"This was all fine with me, and I started composing a new violin piece, about the mysterious stranger who came to visit." I think that you should separate everything on the opposite sides of the first comma, and omit that "and" after it. I think it will flow more smoothly like that.
And his violin is blue? Um...
Other than those things, I like how you expressed Aaron's feelings and how he eventually matures over time.
When I saw this piece, I got interested right away (I'm a violinist.
I enjoyed this piece immensely. I don't have any critiques that haven't already been said, so I am going to tell you what I liked.
It reminded me of the pied piper, in the sense that he can control people with his playing. I didn't feel like you were copying the idea, it just reminded me of the story. I like that there are others like him, and that he now has a family that can understand him, despite what he had accidentally done. I'd like to see some more of Aaron and his musical friends. I hope Eliza is a love interest, that would be interesting. I would also like, maybe not this soon in the story, an explanation as to how they all got their special powers. So, I see you posted part 2 so I'm going to go read it now.
This was a fascinating read. Nice work! As much as I'd like to provide some more insightful feedback, I think the previous reviewers have already done so plus short stories aren't really up my alley. But I love the ideas you're pitching.
That was fantastic, if not a bit short and sweet. As previous comments stated, the concept was enthralling. However, I think some extra elaboration to lengthen the tale would've been a bit better. Overall, the story was neat, and I would totally look forward to a sequel. The telling of the killing was slightly unrealistic, and the back story was a mystifying. Still neat. Nicely done.
Okay, first off, it's a very interesting idea. The moment it's revealed what he can do, I wanted to read more. Second, it's well paced, though the beginning feels like backstory, and doesn't quite fit in with the rest. Try telling the reader the backstory later, and just start the story after she runs away. It'll be much more interesting if you let the reader figure it out for themselves from that.
Second, the tense is a little strange, you did well using the active and passive voice. However, the present tense feels strange after the past tense of the- you guessed it- backstory.
Also, your grammar isn't wrong, but strange and out of place at times. Somtimes you use too many periods and there are several strange, choppy sentences. example-
""And then I left. I was only 10."" try replacing it with- 'Then, I left, never to return again. I was only ten years old.' or completely change that bit right there. Also, in stories, don't say 4 say four, don't say 22 say twenty-two. It help to keep the reader from being drawn out of the story.
""realize that I my music was strong enough to make the stranger commit suicide"" Small typo here, just remove the 'I'
Also, if you do expand on the story, as it seems there might be many characters with unike instruments... just be sure to consider the time period, and avoid making it unrealistic because of that. Research when specific instruments were invented, and decide on a difinite time for your story. Also, consider your intentions for each instrument. If a character can play the piano, it'll be much harder to transport unless it's a keyboard. But, based on where the story appears to be set, I don't know if that would be possible. Also consider there might be 'special' people with the power who never had an oppurtunity to play an instrument... you could have a character seem useless until the save everyones life with sticks on metal (cause there talent is drums) or, also consider if someones 'gift' is specific to a single instrument, otherwise you could have someone with multiple instruments (maybe the villain?) or who can do it with there singing (if it's specific in most cases) since many people consider your voice to be an instrument when properly played.
I hope this help! This is a great story, and I hope you plan to expand on it cause it ends too soon.
Thanks for the review! I will fix those those errors. I have written out parts of what happens in the seven years, and hope to add that in today. I will most likely make a second part about when he is with people like him, but it may take a while. Do you want me to let you know when I do?
Yes please!
Really liked the story, it seemed like you plan to continue it. I look forward to any possible additions to the story.
Out of curiosity do you plan to use every kind of instrument at some point, or just wind and string kinds of instruments.
Also figured I would mention I agree with something theobliviousoracle said. I think cutting out seven years is a bad idea and leaves to much of a story out. Lots of stories movies ect skip forward one or two, but most don't cut more than four. Seven years is just way too much to skip over. I'd strongly recommend going back over that again explaining where he traveled to in greater detail, what made him decide to keep playing when he knows what can happen, why he only just now runs into someone else like him but not in his seven years of being a wandering bard. That last one is a serious flaw by the way, in his seven years he never comes across anyone like him, but suddenly you introduce one like him and then mentioned there is others like that. It's a serious flaw which kind of makes the story a lot worse. It's an idea that would be fine if you only skipped a couple years, but introducing something like that after seven years is why such gaps of time don't work in a story. It's your choice but it does ruin how good your story could be and would make more sense to elaborate on the seven years more, and suggest he was almost found by someone like Eliza.
I liked the story, but you could have done a lot better.
I'm going to add in what happened during the 7 years, hopefully by tomorrow. Yes there were others... Probably just any instrument although I do particularly love woodwinds and strings. Thank you for the review.
This was an interesting story and i liked it even though I've read some of its kind earlier.
So even though its a familiar plot i loved to go through it and i think you can improvise on the grammar front. so here are some suggestions:
First off, the intensity and the clarity with which you define the moments the way you remember everything even when you were lost in the music is the thing to be kept in mind. you have to realize that 1. the narrator is 10 years old, 2. he's lost in music. so he must not tell about the events as clearly as you do rather there must be a detached feeling on his behalf as if he's watching it unfold from a faraway place and after a while the perspective clears on his part. so this was where i think you could have improved as the story as of now doesn't feel as realistic as it could have.
Second, seven years is a big time period so if you leap that big a time period you should give an overview of what happened in those seven years, as it has a huge potential to change the protagonist's character and personality.
one thing that i didn't like in whole of the story was that there was a lack of emotions in the way you told the story as if the narrator is emotionally detached from the story, he never tells what he feels and if it is like the incident has left him emotionally crippled then write so.
Overall this is a great story with lots of potential but right now in this infant of an age its hard to say anything. i think it has same roots as the novel Poison Study by maria snyder as the story looks similar. Whatsoever i'll love to read next from you. keep writing. good job.
I have written out some of what happens in the 7 years, and I hope to have it posted tomorrow. Thanks for the review!