........

Why did you delete it?

I want to read it.

~Azila~

Oh, the horror!

Man, that's life. We all go around, and screw around. I can promise you that the thing the betrayer did to you, you'll do to a hundred other people. And those people, will do to a hundred other people each. And it will just go on. Because people are bastards by nature, don't you see? I mean, sure. We do charity and feel good about ourselves, but we're all just naturally... dicks. Even when we don't want to be. I mean, I'm not saying there are no good guys. I know a lot of good guys. I have a lot of good, honest friends. But that doesn't mean they haven't done something that's wrong every once in a while. That hole you feel in your heart. That'll go away in a month or so. And if it doesn't, it'll go away in a year.

My point being, this piece of writing is useless. It's the kind of thing kids write before cutting their wrists over some girl they've known for two weeks. It doesn't have any depth, because your problems, your highschool drama, your... I don't know, just won't have any lasting damage in your life, not any damage we, the reader, the watcher, your God, care about.

I'm not gonna say it's terribly written. Actually, it's not that well written, I mean, the words don't flow very well, there's some commas that interrupt the eye, and it doesn't sound so poetic when read out loud... But, it's not badly written. It's just shallow, and naïve if that's the word.

Sorry. Keep writing. Just not about that.

Hmm...I'm not trying to be harsh but the only things I could really get about that piece is that you were betrayed. You didn't tell how you were betrayed, only that you were betrayed. I think you should put a little more work into it. Yes, I know it's supposed to be short.

~Spirit