Mistakes Were Meant To Be Made

It's been a year. And everything has changed.

Absolutely everything.

"Why are you doing this?" "We are your best friends!" "We care about you!"

And now they weren't.

I was sitting in my car, Coldplay playing softly on the radio as Harry spoke. He droned on about this movie he had watched with his younger brother Sam. It was an action thriller that he couldn't stop talking about. I swear he's brought it up at least ten times a day. I was leaning against my seat, trying not to fall asleep.

Looking over at him, I noticed he was already looking at me. His brown eyes were soft as they met mine. Now he had stopped talking and just stared, sending tingles down my spine.

"You ever had sex in a car?" I asked, out of the blue.

His Adam's apple rose and fell as he processed what I had said. It wasn't like I was suggesting something, no, never. I would never with him. It was just a better conversation than the one before.

"Ugh, sure, yeah." he responded shyly.

"It's uncomfortable, no? I mean..." I paused. "How would the position look like?"

I'm sure any guy would die to have this conversation. But he didn't know how to take it. I rose an eyebrow, waiting for a response.

"Well, she would be sitting on top of me." He smiled, his confidence filling in. "I mean your car is pretty small, but it would still work fine." he commented.

It was a VW Beetle, it'll do fine, thanks Harry.

"So..." I paused, lifting myself from my seat and placing my legs around him, sitting comfortably on his lap. My heart raced as he stared up at me.

He had this smart idea to lie his back rest flat like a bed.

"Like this?" I asked.

What am I doing? What is going on? Why am I sitting on him? Look at him! No! Gross! Lena please stooooop!

"Yeah, and then we'd be making out as she got turned on..." he said, licking his lips.

I felt his member get hard underneath me, and somehow, that made me lean into him, lying my lips on his. It came as a surprise to him because he didn't react right away. But when he did, he pressed his lips uncomfortably hard against mine. His hands roamed down my think figure, reaching my bum. I had my fingers intertwined in his hair as we continued to make-out. I moaned in between, unable to contain the pleasure he was giving me. His member was pressing against me, sending a feeling of pleasure through my body. I wanted more. I pressed harder against him, wanting him.

He started to kiss my neck, making me moan even louder.

"Harry," I blurted out.

His tongue ran up my jawline, causing shivers down my body. I grinded against him, enjoying his attention.

He kissed my jaw, than went back down my neck, causing me to grip him even tighter. He went down to my cleavage, kissing just the top because I was still fully clothed.

"What are we doing?" he asked suddenly.

I didn't want to answer because I didn't want to stop. So, our eyes met, making me regret everything I was doing. But I leaned in, pushing my tongue down his throat. His hands groped my bum as we continued to make out. I felt myself getting hot, wanting more. I grinded on his member, causing him to moan. Causing me to moan.

And then my phone went off. I pulled away, feeling my lips tingle, and looked at it. A text message from Skylar. I picked it up and read it.

Hey, I know we are fighting, but I need to know if you're okay and if... what you are doing.

It's like she knew. I swallowed hard and looked back at Harry, feeling the guilt kick in. This guy was in love with me and I had no feelings for him. I am using his to feel loved. What was I doing? I am not a terrible person! But, a non-terrible person wouldn't do this... play around.

"I'm sorry," I said.

He didn't respond.

I went back to my seat and took in a deep breath, forgetting that I actually did anything. Looking out the windshield, I watched a plane take off, shooting into the sky. Thankfully there were no cars near us, just a few feet away.

We decided parking in an airport employee lot was best, one, because we work here so we can, two, we always did this. Parked and talked. Just this time it took a turn for the worst.

"It's okay." he sighed.

I looked back at him and couldn't help but feel my heart break. He was smiling, but it was this sad smile that I knew was there to cover up his pain. I swallowed hard.

"It's not okay... I just jumped on you and meant nothing about it. No one does that. Only sluts do... and I wouldn't want to consider myself one."

"It's fine Lena, I know you're going through a difficult time, especially after Dean."

I shut my eyes, trying to control my temptation to knock him out. Everything has to be about Dean, doesn't it? He was my first, he ripped my to pieces. But what happened doesn't cause what I am doing at the moment. It happened, awesome. That doesn't mean whatever I do after it is because of it.

Harry wasn't attractive to me. Internally and externally. He didn't shave... anywhere. He was on the more chubby side with a beer belly that was starting to show. There was this odor that always radiated off of him, like sweat mixed with a musky undertone. Harry liked being cocky about God knows what. He lied through his teeth everyday and was the attention whore of the century, always wanting people to feel sorry for him.

This is why this made no sense.

I wanted nothing to do with him. And yet... I jumped on him.

It's gross.

"Lena, stop thinking."

"I didn't do this because of Dean, Harry." I huffed through my teeth.

His eyes met mine, "I know," he said.

"No, you don't, 'cause you said 'I know you're going through a difficult time, especially after Dean.', what is that?"

He ran his hands down his face, taking in a deep breath. I didn't know what to do, so I sat up, placing my hands on the steering wheel.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked after a few minutes of only the sounds of plane engines and Fleetwood Mac.

"Nothing,"

I looked back at him, catching his with his eyes shut, lying there. My heart beat a second faster as I felt the tension grow.

"Harry, what is it?"

"I'm in love with you..." he sighed. "I'm in fucking love with you and you feel nothing... I think about you everyday. Sexually and... non-sexually." he paused. "You're so fucking hot."

What was I going to say? Yes, it was flattering but, I didn't want him. I wouldn't change my life for him. I wouldn't risk that tiny feeling that lingered in me, because it wasn't big enough. Making him anything to me would mean changing everything I knew, or didn't even know, once again.

"That's nice to say," I whispered.

Opening his eyes, he sat up as well. His eyes met mine and he made a move, leaning his body into mine. But I pushed him away, shaking my head.

"I'm driving you home," I said. "And we are not to speak of this, ever. Paulina will murder me."

He sat back, not looking at me.

"Right,"