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A Letter to My Ex

by Nike

Here is a letter to my ex.

I never wrote stories about you. I always wondered why. Was it because I never loved you as much as I thought I did? Did I love you so much that I didn’t want to share it? Was I the person that was only able to write when she was upset and heartbroken? Was I really that author?

I guess I was really that author.

Every time I think I’ll be okay I suddenly crash and burn. I find all the reasons to not miss you, not need you, not want you. None are enough to cover up the good you gave me. No matter how you pissed me off, the love conquered all those thoughts. It was like no matter how mad I was, I loved you enough to understand you.

And at this time you’re begging me to understand you. Hon, I really do.

It’s immature.

It’s you not really loving me for me.

It’s you not really loving you for you.

I understand. You need to follow what you drew for yourself. But life sometimes plays a different game. It shows you what you think is right and then it throws you a curveball. It threw me a curveball.

I’m pissed I fell in love with you.

Everytime someone knocks at my apartment door, my heart races as I beg for it to be you— with those sad eyes and somber smile, apologizing and pleading for me to come back to you.

Everytime my phone lights up, I pray that it’s you texting me ‘I’m sorry I love you I need you now’. Everytime you don’t reply, I imagine you driving to my apartment, unable to hold it any longer, needing to see me, instead of texting me back.

But, each text is a loved one saying I’ll be okay.

And you eventually reply with a ‘we don’t work’.

We do work. You don’t see it. I do. You haven’t reached the potential to see it. Or rather, you don’t even want to. You would rather take it easy and not have to deal with understanding me, accepting me like the way I’ve accepted you.

True love is no matter who the person is, you so strongly want to be with them. Nothing can stop that from happening.

I apologized. I explained. I understood. I accepted. I tried. I tried way too damn hard.

I’m aware that my words are silent cries into the abyss. God can only hear me and weep with me. Because he can’t even help me get what I most dearly want. He can only help me survive the pain.

I wish you were different.

I wish to all the skies that you could realize life doesn’t work the way you want it to. There’s a path you take, and this path will forever be blind to you. You don’t know what your job will be. You don’t know who your best friend will be.

You don’t know who you will marry.

I know you have a plan for yourself, a plan that satisfies you. It makes your life easy. In the long run you won’t have to be angered, stressed. You’ll have someone that thinks exactly the same and you won’t have to worry. It’ll be the perfect love.

I just hope you love her half as much as you loved me when you meet her.

Because sadly the rest of the world cannot choose their own soulmates.

Except for you. You have a plan of your own.

You tell me I think of God incorrectly. But who is the one denying what God has given you? I am not. I am taking everything He has given and keeps on giving. You keep on taking it and throwing it away because it’s hard.

That’s not how God works. You can’t choose what you like and don’t like. Sounds familiar? You used to tell me that.

Except I never did that. And we both know this. I always took everything He gave me.

And I wish I was as selfish as you are and never took you.

I wish I was as selfish so I wouldn’t know this pain.

Here is a letter to my ex. 

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12 Reviews

Points: 32
Reviews: 12

Fri Jan 11, 2019 11:35 am
James565611 wrote a review...

this is a wonderful piece you have written. keep it up.
one thing i do love about poetry is Love, and you have written just what i love. i like the sensation it brings to my mind. this poem reminds me of someone i once held dear to my heart. but as time would have it, we were never meant to be together.
i love this poem and every line.
it is good you wrote this and shared it with the world.
reading this poem, i wished she had never left. now the feeling is back.
and i love the memories of us im recalling right now.
please keep writing poems like this.
thank you.

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Points: 269
Reviews: 3

Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:58 am
emefalarbi3031 wrote a review...

Hi, I’m here to give a review
This is wonderful. A very good piece. I like the way you expressed yourself. You really put across what you were trying to say very well. The words used, the similes, the references. And I like the way the word needy was portrayed and properly displayed in the story. From the part about expecting every knock on the door to be from him and every time your phone showed a notification to be from him. Its also very cool how you expressed your feelings towards him even though he wasn’t reciprocating it
And I also like the way you acknowledged those who were with you through your time of difficulty and I love the fact that there were people there because most people going through difficulties and don’t get people to help them through those times.
I love that you started talking about how he has plans for himself an despite the fact that he knows God is the one who controls the affairs of life, he makes his own decisions and plans. And also the part where you were reminding him of what he said and how he was going contrary to it.
My favorite part is when you wished him well and hoped that he will treat the next girl he dates well.
This short story is very good and has made me happy. Continue to write more stories. Good work done. Keep it up! I look forward to reading more of your stories and reviewing more of your works. Have a great time!!

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562 Reviews

Points: 14535
Reviews: 562

Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:46 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hi Shikora here to give you a review.

So I didn't see anything wrong with this little story. But I can say I really liked reading it. It was packed with so much emotion, I began to wonder if this is a real letter. I have know idea how you did it.
I could really feel this guy was really upset and the way he was feeling, it was really upsetting. It was nice to know his family was helping him, and telling him it would be okay. It was nice that you did it in his head, it was his thoughts.
It was also nice to see his thinking over things that could have been different. It kind of put an image in my head of what he looks like, and what look he had on his face, it added a really cool touch to the story.
It was really cool that you found away to tell us what happened through what he was thinking, I thought that was really clever.

Well that's it from me for now. I really liked reading and reviewing your story, and I hope to see more of your great works out on YWS soon, Never stop writing and have a great day/night.

You friend
Shikora. :D

The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do.
— Harold Coffin