Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.
My mind was foggy with want, need, and lust. His hands were roaming my body, trying to find their footing, but always getting lost. My skin burned at his touch, wanting him to rip off my clothes. Our lips were pressed hard against each other as our tongues danced, begging for more tongue, for more. I could feel the pressure between my hips wanting to be let out, lusting for air.
He was pressed against me, wanting more of all that he had. I let my hands get to the hem of his shirt, pulling at it.
I moaned as his lips trailed from my own, to my neck. I could feel hardness under me, pressed against me, wanting to get inside. His breathing was fast, I could feel each breath against my sweaty skin. He unbuttoned my shirt as he went down, his tongue making my skin tingle. I shut my eyes, enjoying his touch, wanting him to feel me.
His fingers roamed at the hem of my leggings, going under it to my panties. I could feel how much I wanted it, the heat was unbearable.
"I want you so badly," I let out, which sounded more like a string of moans.
I looked down and our eyes met. Those blue orbs were the first thing that got me to like him. They were beautiful and exposed his soul. Next were his lips, a little plump but always soft. I loved his nose, so Polish, a little crooked. His jaw could break concrete.
"You already have me," he said, his voice so soft. "You will always have me,"
I swallowed down my cry as tears tried to push past my eyes. I couldn't believe how hard my heart was beating. His touch was so real.
"But, what if I leave?" I chocked out.
He smiled, that crooked smile that got me through the worst.
"You'll be okay,"
"I love you,"
He looked away for a moment, buttoning my shirt back up. I waited, anticipating his response. Then, his eyes roamed back to mine. My heart stopped.
"I love you," he said. "So, you will be okay."
"This means I am leaving, doesn't it?"
He didn't have to do anything but keep on looking at me. I felt his touch disappear, even though I could still see him.
"You will see me again." He smiled. "And I love you."
That was it, he was gone. He vanished in a blink of an eye, leaving me on my bed, alone.
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125,038 Literary Works • 672,927 Reviews
Hey there! Shadow here to review. I really, really loved this. But I also felt like there wasn't enough emotion in it. I would have loved to have felt a lot more emotion than what I felt while I was reading this. Also, not that names are important...but I would love to have some to connect to the characters. All in all, this was a really good piece and I'm glad I read it. If you took some time to rewrite, you'd have a truly incredible piece here.
Okay I would frankly suggest revising and re-revising it cause that helps a lot . Also I think being slightly more emphatic towards feelings and urges could prove to be brilliant . Someone said less s more so you could try to narrate to feelings and sensations and not focusing so much on the physical actions leaving a bit more to their imaginations to create that hooked up feeling that people have at times after reading such short stories . I wold furthermore recommend a background story to give more depth to the sexual matter