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Syria Sleeps

by Mikko


SYRIA SLEEPS.
 
Cough out blood
cry out for mercy
tears in sand and mud
create oceans of wretchedness

Breathe out your soul
inhale the toxin
beads of sweat in the cold
create oceans of desperation

They watch as you falter, stumble
across barbed-wire and cracked boulders
they watch as your hopes tumble
and as you carry your home on your shoulders

They stand above humanity
marvellous money made by burning the innocent
they feed on their own vanity
they're alive and craving
as Syria sleeps

They're alive and craving
as Syria sleeps

Wrap up the godforsaken
another added to the pile
two thousand, death has taken
into the pit of misery

Mix up more chemicals
use whatever they've sent
to save even if just one
from the pit of agony

They watch as you falter, stumble
across barbed-wire and cracked boulders
they watch as your hopes tumble
and as you carry your home on your shoulders

They stand above humanity
marvelous money made by burning the innocent
they feed on their own vanity
they're alive and craving
as Syria sleeps

They're alive and craving
as Syria sleeps

They stand above humanity
marvelous money made by burning the innocent
they feed on their own vanity
they're alive and craving
as Syria sleeps

They're alive and craving
as Syria sleeps

The sun is but a white ball
amongst the dust and ash
with its every rise and fall
thousands of lives crash
yet they're alive and craving
as Syria sleeps


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1464 Reviews


Points: 83957
Reviews: 1464

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Fri May 11, 2012 4:14 pm
JabberHut wrote a review...



This is beautiful.

I understood what this song was about when I sat and thought about Syria and what that entailed. (I'm a bit slow. xD)

But yeah. This was awesome. I have little critique to make. It's one of your best works, I think. You have some really awesome moments, and just the structure of the song is beautiful. The metaphors fit perfectly, and just. It's awesome.

The only comment I might make is that the beginning doesn't seem to tie in with the end. Maybe mention the sun or perhaps a nighttime reference in the beginning. I think the sun bit in the last verse is awesome, so if there's a way to do something similar to tie the two together, that might be cool. It's really just a suggestion, though!

Well done!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!




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159 Reviews


Points: 2117
Reviews: 159

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Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:46 pm
Skydreamer says...



This is really good!!





When you cut pieces out of the truth to avoid looking like a fool, you end up looking like a moron instead.
— Robin Hobb