You have set a goal in your mind
You are on your way
Because you want to shine
You kick every hurdle that makes you sta
They underestimate you
But you solace your heart
And after stopping for a while make a new start
They try to stop you
By throwing stones
They don't know
You have got a wild passion in your bones
So collect the stones
Shape them into stairs
They try to distract you
Act as if you don't hear and care
Yes, they are your hidden enemy
As your very close passerby
In your way to destination
This is the point difficult to deny
And you can't believe it
When you later see it
From your inside eye
What you have to do is focus
You really want to be
In arms of victory's lust
Just believe the wild man inside you
And all the fantasies become true
By making scars on your body
Through throwing stones
And then saying uninterested, heavy-heart sorry
They want you to be more weaker
But you should not bother
Don't be scared by their violence
That's only to bring you down
When they make a noise, you work in silence
Want praises to be all around
So work hard, fall, stand up and then run fast
Amaze them by your victory's blast
And then see how every mouth changes
From a triggered gun
To the healer of scratches
You had in your past
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Canary word: Present
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125,004 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Hi Mahvash, acm here for a quick review! I read the other reviews, which have pretty much covered everything, but I have a one suggestion to make on the organization of the poem. Though this might just be the style, I think that it would have a much better flow if it was separated into stanzas.
For example, the first few lines.
I think you could split it into another stanza after the fourth line. It's like starting a new idea or starting a new rhyming sentence. You can press shift and enter to single-space it and then use the normal enter when you want to end a stanza, if that helps.
Anyways, I won't nitpick on the flow or anything, though you might want to read over the poem and take out unnecessary words if you find them. Other than that, the poem was perfect. I can't wait to read more of your poetry!
Thanks for your review. I appreciate it.
Acm I tried to split it up in stanzas but it was not working.
Hello and good whatever-time-of-day-it-is to you.
This poem is good, so I'm not going to leave you with a long bulky review.
at least not todayI love the content of your poem, you did a great job conveying your message, so good that! Your flow is good, II read it out-loud and it all seemed about right.All of that being said, here are my nit-picks:
I think 'in' should be 'into'.
As both Alice and Meilei both pointed out,
as if you don't hear or care
only to bring
I think this should have a 'But' at the beginning, but maybe it's just me.
Double positive... Is that a thing? 'Weaker' is by default already 'more weak', so you don't need the 'more' in there.
"They want you to be weaker" should suffice.
'And then'
End Message
I really did enjoy reading your poem, I think that the only thing I would say is that you either need to pay more attention when you are typing-I know, it's hard- or put it in a word document or something to catch your spelling mistakes. Other than that, I really like you writing. You did a good job with this poem, so Keep on Writing!
Hey thank you very much for this review. I was writing in a hurry and unconsciously made these mistakes. I really appreciate it
I am gonna edit it
Autopilot grammatically More Weaker is Correct.
Okay, I didn't know that
It is still easier to read without the 'more' in there 
So you can read the poem in a way you want to
Hi! Sarah12 here to review. I really liked the concept of this poem! It's very inspiring and motivational. However, it was a little difficult to read because it didn't have a steady flow. Maybe I just didn't settle into that flow, but it was slightly difficult to read out loud. Really, other than that though, it was a beautiful poem! I know i identified with it very much. Great job, and keep writing!
Sarah12
Thanks for your review Sarah
Hey! I'm here to do a quick review on your poem
"Act as you don't hear an care"
"That's only t bring you down"
A small typos
Think about adding punctuation to this poem
I really like the idea and I like the way it flows but I found it confusing. The beginning of the poem was clear but it all got confusing once you brought in the idea of stones. I think once you try and make the metaphor you are trying to explain easier to understand this will be an amazing poem!
Alice ♥
Thanks for your review. I definitely miss-typed some words as I was writing in a hurry. But thanks once again
Grammar escaped in some places and there was a little mistake near the end. Edit it, but other than that its great.
"Act as you don't hear an care"
"That's only t bring you down"
I still don't get it though...
I hope you get it soon