They have a wild beast inside,
fire, which they continuously ignite.
Hard to restrain,
you can see it in their eyes.
They have a soul of steel
which never let them grow weak.
Power of self esteem
which never let them bow down.
They stand like a mountain in the storm,
they see hope
when life turns into a dark platform.
They have an umbrella called "Faith" in rainy days.
Yes, they cry but never settle,
they endure but want to win the battle.
They live in whorls of life
but better know how to face the perils.
Superheroes are not made overnight,
accustomed to afflictions
on every step they fight
but never give up.
So if you want to become a superhero
don't wish for the super power.
When adversity holds your legs and you can't move
that's the time to show the world that you're a real Fighter.
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125,004 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
This poem is very well written. It made me think of Dauntless. (Dauntless is my divergent faction.
One metaphor witch really stood out to me was "They have an umbrella called 'faith' in rainy days." I love the picture that it paints in my mind! Just one thing that I would change. I find the last few words "in rainy days" a little bit wordy and kind of slows down the poem. If i were you I would keep it simple because there is no need for those words.
I really like the last line and think it is inspirational, in a word.
Thank you for writing such a great poem.
NEVER STOP WRITING!
Message from the club Dantless4ever: Be brave @Mahvash.
Thank you so much
Your kind words have encouraged me.
Thanks!
Hey, I'm here to give a quick review.
First of all, I would like to say how lovely the idea of this poem. It's interesting to find a interpretation of a fighter delivered in a poetry form. I'm going to say what I learn from it and what can be improved upon it.
I catch a wild typo there. 'weak' instead of 'steel'. You give us a solid imagery of how strong the soul of a fighter, but 'power of self-esteem' is something abstract. Placing an object that resembles self-esteem, or describing self-esteem by the aid of an imagery will make the message more powerful.
Love the first line. Now, this is just a suggestion, but you can elaborate more on the verb stand, like stand firm, stand tall, stand unperturbed, to further connect it to the simile you bring afterwards. I'm not a fan of the second line because of its shortness. It stands out weirdly with the other second lines because it doesn't try to be as long as the rest of the lines, you get what I'm sayin'?
I believe 'whorls' should be 'whirls', but a quick search of the word makes me reconsider. If you're going for the spiralling pattern, 'whorls' still fits.
Like the last stanza. Perfect ending for the poem, and it executes well the idea of never giving up in the midst of hardships.
My other suggestion would be the chosen subject itself. Why fighter? It's a word with broad meaning, and it would be nice to specify what kind of fighter you're talking about? Individuals? Activists? Politicians? Soldiers?
And that is all! Keep up the good job!
Thank you so much for the review. It's highly appreciated