Don't try to look into my eyes
Nor try to scan my peaceful outlook.
There's a frightening darkness inside.
Step back or you will get lost.
It's so intense that even a lamp
Proves to be worthless to beat the dark.
There, in depths, are stored
The silent sobs, some broken smiles,
Well of hidden tears, bitter words
that are absorbed, quietly.
Scary faces of fears that
Sometimes push me back.
Some caged dreams waiting to fly,
Graves of dead expectations that
Only suit in imaginations.
Hanged stories on bare trees.
Beautifully murdered feelings by hungry wolves.
Cracked voices and an injured heart.
Poison of honey concealed people,
Cries converted into curves of lips
And all these things may kill you
But see this wounded soul is ALIVE.
They continue to draw scars on me
Because they think, I am their canvas.
They still torture me with cold words,
They try to chain my new born hopes.
Feeding my darkness, multiplying my sorrows.
And I bury them more deeper
Everyday, they kill me like this
And I put them to death with my lively smiles.
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125,004 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Hi!
The first thing I noticed about the piece was the title. It really drew me in because it seemed pretty straight forward, yet a bit of a mystery at the same time. So good job on that.
Second, I liked the structure of the poem. The 5 stanzas all with 6 lines looked really nice and organized. I don't usually like poems that rhyme, but it would be cool if this one did. I like how it doesn't rhyme, but I'd be okay with a rhyme scheme if that were possible.
My favorite lines in this poem were:
"Everyday, they kill me like this
And I put them to death with my lively smiles."
This is just a good way to end a poem. I remember reading once that if a piece of writing can end with a dramatic mic drop them it's a good conclusion. I think you did an excellent job of summing up the whole poem in just two lines!
and
"Don't try to look into my eyes
Nor try to scan my peaceful outlook.
There's a frightening darkness inside.
Step back or you will get lost."
I like how you seem to be talking to the reader, warning them that they should stay away. I really like the word choice you used here. "Peaceful outlook" is probably my favorite phrase from the stanza. Maybe you could use a different word for frightening, something with a little more emotional hold on the reader?
So overall, I liked the poem. It was strong, and emotional. My only thing would be to use a few stronger words in some of your lines, to avoid cliches and really make the reader feel what you're feeling.
Hope this helped! Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or concerns! Keep up the good work!
-E
Thank you a lot for this encouraging review!
It means a lot to me. 
Hey there! MJ dropping by for a cringe-worthy attempt at reviewing poetry.
I would replace worthless with 'unable' or something along those lines, because unable refers to the inability to do something. (I know, real shocker there, right?), whereas worthless isn't really an adjective that describes how something is being done. Hopefully that made sense, and if not, just let me know and I'll try to phrase it better.A few minor suggestions for ya, then we'll get into the real meat of the review.
I also didn't really understand this line. In the depths of what? Are you referring to large amounts, or where this is stored?
I don't think "suit" is the best word here, only because it seems a little ambiguous. I think that maybe "work" or something along those lines, assuming you mean "suit" as in "suited to your tastes".
What does this line mean? This is probably just a misunderstanding on my part, but I've puzzled over it for several minutes, and I'm still not sure what you're trying to say.
Moving on to the real essence of the poem:
Firstly, I really loved the last stanza. It really summarized the poem very well, and was very beautiful and told a story in just 6 lines. Because this stanza was the best, in my opinion, of the poem, I think that the title should be "And I put them to death with my lively smiles.", since that is both the concluding line and the overall theme of theme of the poem.
My main critique here is that your poem was a little all-over-the-place. In the first stanza, you talked about the frightening darkness inside of the MC. In the second stanza, you talked about the sadness stored up inside the MC, which was a very similar idea to the first stanza. In the third stanza, your poem takes a little bit of a turn to talking about the dreams that the MC had, and then in the fourth stanza, you continue with that theme by talking about how the MC is going to rise up, and conclude it nicely in the fifth stanza by explaining how you kill them with happiness.
Going from sadness stored up inside to how the MC kills the enemies around him/her with his/her lively smiles was a little bit of a stretch, and I would suggest that you stay with one general theme and tell the story of that part. That was my only real point of improvement, and other than that, this was a beautiful poem with a great theme that I really enjoyed!
Best wishes,
MJ
Thank you so much for taking out time to review my poem. I really appreciate it.
To clear your ambiguity, I'd like to explain the line "Poison of honey concealed people"
It simply means that I was quite overwhelmed by the sweetness of people and the way they would talk to me in a sweet manner. I melted on their sweetness but after catching their bad intentions behind those words, I got alarmed and considered their words "Poison".
Hope it helped.
Stay blessed.
Thanks for clearing that up! I understand now.
Have a wonderful day.