Text:
what do pebbles give you
that I can't?
((the following stanzas can be read in any order))
I.
rust-coloured dirt and mud
excavated from the river
I've never seen or heard babbling
somehow we assume it does
I.
is there a mouth
in a column of ashes?
I know there are tributaries
and one of them is me
should be
me
I.
statues, probably
signs of conquering and kingdom
where the thing must be conquered
where you must be worthy of --
I.
there is no one
answer
I.
blue shadows at the door,
looking out rain-curtains
letting in the chill and then
leaving
I.
silt cake baking
in glaring orange sun
they don't tell me
has the drought begun?
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
So many poems!!
Haha indeed
I wrote them all for a magazine a while back, but they didn't get accepted, so I left them to stew for a while before deciding to upload them here.
That%u2019s awesome. I tried to getting into art school with my poems. I didn%u2019t finish the application because I%u2019m po.
Hey there Liminality! Rida here for (an attempt to) a review!
First of all, can I just say I love these poems to the bottom of my heart and wish I could write just like that? I think your water poems can be classified as experimental poetry, (something I really want to try!).
1) Interpretation
Ok, I will at least try to interpret this poem, though there are very few chances I’ll get it right,
Here we go ->
The poem is formatted as a mind map- something very organised in contrast to the slightly ‘emotionally-overwhelmed’ feel of the poem. The central stanza is a question asking what (metaphor) pebbles give that the poet can’t. I always think that in experimental poetry, everything has meaning. And so the watermark behind this central question, I interpret, as also representing inferiority (?) . The rest of the stanzas are, of course, linked to this question only. This central stanza sets the mood of the poem. Something I noticed while reading the poem was that (maybe) because of the formatting, reading the poem felt very robotic. It was like- in this poem, one can feel the ‘robots talk about feelings’ vibe. So the whole thing was very rhythmic.
The rest of the stanzas are dispersed like thoughts, and they all seem like memories.
All the stanzas seem to tell us of various moments in a drought. They indicate destruction, maybe. Also, maybe the poet is metaphorised as a river.
So, basically I can interpret poem as speaking about an external force (the world?) crumbling the self. Maybe feeling too overwhelmed. Or too hectic? I also get an uncertain vibe from this poem, after seriously reading it.
Woah.
That was long.
Alright! Well, I don’t really see how one could improve this poem- everything just feels perfect!
Thank you so much for sharing this poem,
I really enjoyed reading it
<3
-Rida
Hi rida! I'd love to see you try more experimental poetry.
I think that form-filling (?) blog-style poem you did a while back was pretty close to that. That's an interesting observation about how the mood of the poem contrasts with the format. I hadn't thought about that! I think I quite like that interpretation.
I was thinking along the lines of having everything be related to the question in the middle, so I'm happy you spotted that. I wonder if you found a different mood of meaning in the stanzas depending on which order you read them in?
Thanks again for the review!
I like this poem and how the river is personified.I believe that this poem is talking about the wishes of a river and wanting to be praised as much as stones.See,stones are loved because they are fun to skip in rivers,but rivers provide water to drink,bathe and swim in.Yet rivers aren’t appreciated as much.I hope you have a good day/night.
Thanks for the review!
This was a 10/10 Poem idc if its long it was 10/10
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it