Silent Life
In the deep, lonely forest,
the birds sing their solemn serenade.
A string of wind blows,
heaving a burden of stories.
The aura of evening approaches,
comforting a lonesome child.
Ghosts walking from your memories
echo onto the pavement,
While I sit and sew
at the corner of the twilight.
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140,230 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
In the deep, lonely forest,
)
the birds sing their solemn serenade.
A string of wind blows,
heaving a burden of stories.
OMG. BEST FOUR LINES IN THE FRIGGIN WORLD.
Birds sings.. wind blowing.
All worded so beautifully. I HAVE to applaud you for that!!
(Applauds)
Lets READ ON!
The aura of evening approaches,
comforting a lonesome child.
Ghosts walking from your memories
echo onto the pavement,
While I sit and sew
at the corner of the twilight.
How does evening comfort a child? Night scares the hell out of me.
I like the "Ghosts walking from your memories" part. So deep.
KEEP WRITING! IF YOU DONT I WILL SHOVE A 100% CHOCOLATE BAR DOWN YOUR THROAT!
And 100 percent chocolate DOES NOT taste good. No.
nothing to edit, but one comment: your rhythm is amazing! unlike many on the site, it's great.... the first two lines were my favorite. it was slightly dull, i guess, and not much plot, just an explanation. but it's great. i would definitely read more from you. keep writing, definitely!!!!
Teh Wozzinator
I didn't notice anything wrong with it so, nice job.
wow thats really good keep going