A Promise
Our golden days seem to fade away,
but those good memories
are still etched on your face.
Everyday, an obstacle burdens us,
but again, you manage to smile.
Everytime when the dawn rises,
something dark is always waiting ahead.
Somehow, we always surpass it...
Because you are right here by my side,
bound with a vow to protect happiness.
Even if sadness cuts like a knife,
with you, I seem to be invincible.
And we'll stand, together,
racing towards light.
It's a promise between you and I,
so let's be the best, until the end of time.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,658 Literary Works • 672,645 Reviews
I really liked this poem! It seemed so real.
I just have a few suggestions:
"Everytime when the dawn rises,
something dark is always waiting ahead.
Somehow, we always surpass it... "
Comma after "Everytime"
The ellipses seems kind of ill-fitting. A period would be better, in my opinion.
Okay! So, obviousy, this poem was very good, as my only suggestions happened to be grammar! I liked the words you used, they were very pungent and got to the heart of the matter without playing around. Very well written!!
Thanks for the read!
--Cassie
>< That totally sounds like me an my best friend. I really want to show her that now lol. This is a very wonderful piece, I liked it a lot.
This was a really heartwarming poem.
It actually sounds like something I would write.
And I could relate to that poem completely. Simply a work of pure genius and from the heart.
Please continue writing adorable poems like these.
I didn't really see any grammar mistakes, no sudden jumps from stanza to stanza or anything...
Keep writing. Hope to hear more from you soon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain." --- Emily Dickenson
AWWWW! That is so sweet. I like how it tells of overcoming everything in your path. Inspirational...