Spring, like a child singing,
Wavering but fresh,
Growing slowly, beautiful
And tender in its youth.
-
Summer, like a woman's aria,
Strong and sure and lovely,
Enduring all with its warmth,
Power held within its storms.
-
Fall, like a choir,
Wild as the wind, cold then warm,
Crisp and contrasted, varied
In its beauty and barrenness.
-
Winter, the solemn tones of men
Throbbing against the heart,
Its magnificence a secret that remains
As sharp as a knife against your lungs.
-
The seasons, strong and sure,
Each falling without fail,
Varying year to year,
Let us sing their praise
-
Till winter turns back to spring
And the child's voice is heard again,
Wavering but fresh,
Like cherry blossoms on the tree.
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Canary word: Present
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
This is gorgeous! I love how you talked about each season and gave unique descriptions to each!
My favorite part of this poem was really beautiful! Maybe not, beautiful, but a wonderful description.
It's just that sharp pain you get in your lungs when you breathe air that is too cold!
I loved this poem and couldn't find drastic things I would change, only things that I would change because of my difference of opinions as a writer!
Good job and happy review Day!
yubbies21
Hi Liaya,DK here with review.
I totally like the first stanza and the ideas you pointed up in each stanzas with a beautiful diction.
# Spring, like a child singing,-->I love the comparison between spring and the child singing also their 'youth' tender as the spring.
Wavering but fresh,
Growing slowly, beautiful
And tender in its youth.
# Summer, like a woman's aria,-->Indeed,so strong!
Strong and sure and lovely,
Enduring all with its warmth,
# Winter, the solemn tones of men-->Like this line.
Throbbing against the heart,
Its magnificence a secret that remains
As sharp as a knife against your lungs. -->But I think you lost your own concept here.Why don't you make a clear comparison between men with the cold winter?
The last stanza is quite beautiful but the concept is a bit strayed from the purpose you want to to convey.
Overall,very good poem!Just need to improve some relation between each lines.Keep it up!
Kudos,cheers.
The Messenger Knight here to review for the Knights of the Green Room.
So, I am a big love of nature and weather and such, so I was excited to read this. I did not see any errors,although my head is aching. but anyway, I loved how you explained and described each season, and then wrapped it up good. I really like the last stanza, and how you brought back the child's voice.
Keep it up!
I LOVE THESE.! these is really, good keep on writing. Seasons do change and these one is going to change. I LOVE IT!