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140,866 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
Hi Lavvie!
I already love the name of your poem!
I'm not sure what you mean by "your face is a willow"; it doesn't really seem to fit the ocean motif, but it does fit with the "rooted"...
Since we already have the tree thing, I kind of like the double meaning of knots, since trees can also have that
Also like the phrase "monochrome salted"!
hi majuli here to review on this lovely poem!!
i like short poems, so here i am, Lavvie!
firstly, i clicked on this because of the title. i think this is the first time that i saw the feeling of missing being compared to an ocean. so, intrigued by the picture you painted, i proceeded to read your poem.
"a concrete tension" feels like an absolute, definite stress in the dynamic. a very tasteful and unique way to describe atmosphere, i think.
"tendrils rooted in one whole ocean" feels like the reach of this person on your life, also as large as the ocean, only lingers in ONE ocean. am i reading too much into it? maybe. am i enjoying it? yes!!
"again, i reach stretching
for eyes blue".
awww, also, the ocean itself is blue, is it not?
"tasting it on my tongue, rough" and the entire last paragraph is my favourite. i love metaphors, and this is just so unique.
the last line, "is this knot enough?" serves as a perfect ending to this calm, serene, yet yearnful poem.
thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece! keep writing, and stay happy.
This is beautiful, Lavvie!