Experimenting with a lack of capitalization and punctuation. I'm quite happy with the result. I only wish I could center this; it looks and reads much better. D:
Nate is awesome. :3
---
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,585 Literary Works • 672,611 Reviews
Hm. Well it's up to me to rain on the parade D: Sorry.
So, I appreciate your ability to consider punctuation and capitalization as something flexible. But I think disregarding both is a little too much.
You see a lot of good poems with very little punctuation and no capitalization. But I don't think you completely understand why, and why you can't forget both. A poem is such an interlinked thing that anything you do with your poem, what/where you punctuate, or where/what you capitalize has an effect on the words you're getting across.
Why do some choose not to capitalize their "I"s? because it places unnecessary emphasis on a word that doesn't matter. Even if it seems like nothing, anything that individualizes a word can effect the poem. If it's emphasizing a word that doesn't matter, it's a waste of emphasis.
I personally think punctuation is important. You can bend it to your will and use it sparsely, but still use it. It's a pause for your reader to swallow what your saying. And even if it's just a hyphen or a comma it separates your ideas neatly for your reader to interpret all this information you're giving them.
Consider this in your next poem. But do continue to test it out.
The poem itself is a little dull, repetitive and simply a generic what if poem. There's not much you can do about it, but since this is an experimentation, I'll forgive.
Keep writing and PM me if you have any thoughts.
Kamas
Thanks, everyone. I'm glad you all enjoyed it. :D
This was absolutely beautiful! It flowed perfectly, and not a cliche idea in sight. The lack of capitalization also softens the poem, which made me adore it even more. My favorite lines would be these:
Would you believe that I actually wonder about the same things sometimes? Well, what I'm trying to say is that the poem is very easy to relate to, for some inexplicable reason... It's lovely. Need I say more? :3
Buona serra et grazie,
~Winter
(fails at attempt to speak Italian)
Hi Kyllorac!
I'll say I rather liked this. I usually yell at people when they don't have punctuation or grammar purposefully, but you did it purposefully, and well. The lack of grammar seems to give a cool, surreal aspect the poem. Your imagery was also lovely.
1. NITPICKS
Here, the repetition doesn't really work. It comes across as if you're yelling, sort of. I guess it would be defined and make more sense with punctuation, but you don't have any in this poem, so stick to a simple "why", or better yet, "why oh why".
Err...yeah. Even if you hyphenate it, more-ness isn't a word. It sounds really awkward, too.
Again, I don't think the repetition really works here. Besides, if you stick with just one 'nothing' line it's a lot more powerful. p
2. FINAL THOUGHTS
This worked, it really did. It's obviously not perfect, but you'll get better with more practice. Obviously you're going to have to write a little bit differently then you would with regular prose or poetry. I can see a nice style coming along. This is definitely one poem I won't be forgetting.
PM me if you have questions!
-Elinor xo
I like how you purposefully left out punctuation and capitalization; it makes this stand out more.
You did a good job on this.
I think this sounds really awkward though, maybe you could think of a synonym for the word, one that's a real word.