I've lived in this place for fifteen years --
played in the yard, imagined worlds,
stacked its stones and picked up its sticks,
uncovered every nook and cranny of the vinyl facade --
and every corner of it is filled with memory.
This is the place I learned woodcraft and herblore,
how to hunt and fish and live outdoors,
the names of the animals and their behaviors,
where I saved a toad and a chipmunk from death,
where a robin died, and my dog did too.
He's buried in the backyard, now,
back near the woods where his soul can run free,
chasing the deer and the 'possums and 'coons
and having arguments with scamper-happy squirrels.
I used to dream of living here forever
back when I was younger and didn't know any better.
I guess I never really understood
in my heart
that I would one day leave,
and that, if I left, I might never be able to return,
because,
now that I have to,
I don't want to, even though I would have left next year.
Maybe it's the circumstances.
Maybe it's the permanence.
The fact remains that I will have to leave,
like it or not,
and it hurts so much to give up this place,
not because of something we did,
but because of the way the world is.
It hurts to leave behind the memories
because memories fade so easily without objects to embody them,
and what hurts most of all,
because it's all I have left of him
aside from a battered photograph
and his tatty old leash
and his loose chain collar,
is leaving behind his grave.
---
This is a very personal poem, but I would still like criticism and comments. I wrote this during a very difficult time when my family was going through great financial difficulties and there was the very real possibility of losing everything we owned. On the brighter side, even though we lost a lot, we wound up being able to keep the house and property (including my dog's grave), though for how much longer, I don't know.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Thanks everyone for the comments. You don't have to be afraid to tear it apart; that's why I posted it here, after all.
As for the confusing bit, I've been poking at it for a while, and I still haven't come up with a way to phrase it better. X_x Ah well, perhaps more poking will uncover it.
Something similar did happen to me too. And that's why I like this poem so much.
It has depth in it, and I like the way you can make me visualize the scenes. I can see a dog chasing 'coons.
But at times, the poem gets a little too plain, i think.
"and that, if I left, I might never be able to return,
because,
now that I have to,
I don't want to, even though I would have left next year."
This part is a bit confusing..but all in all, this is a really good poem. I like your style!
Oh my... *gold star*
I can relate. I want to be constructive, but I just can't bring myself to be nitpicky over this touching piece. A similar experience has come to me, too... and I wish you all the best, Kyllorac. I know how hard it is to loose something important to you.
Sending you a package full of bliss,
KL
A very deep and moving poem there.The emotions especially,were captured very well.
I used to dream of living here forever
back when I was younger and didn't know any better.
I guess I never really understood
in my heart
that I would one day leave,
These were the lines that caught my attention for their simplicity yet great depth.
There is a really confusing usage of words here.Try to be a little more clear
and that, if I left, I might never be able to return,
because,
now that I have to,
I don't want to, even though I would have left next year.
These lines are the best in the poem the way i see it
and it hurts so much to give up this place,
not because of something we did,
but because of the way the world is.
I could totally understand the part about the memories.Leaving behind the pleasant memories feels really bad and does hurt a lot.
Keep such good work coming.