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139,448 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Hello there ^_^
Starting off, your whole first paragraph is just two sentences! Maybe you should really shorten the first one, split it or something. Maybe replace the comma after "consensus" with a full-stop.
Then,
This second part of the sentence isn't easy to understand. I half understand, so your leaving the reader to do the other half of the putting together.
In the next statement, the repetition of the word objective strikes you as out of flow, that of the word observe doesn't. This sentence makes great sense and is the best part of your piece.
Lastly, I suggest you put a comma after the "So then"- that helps add a hint of drama to the reading.
Hope that helps,
~Duke
Why, indeed? It blows me away how people, myself included, can pass off things such as love, faith, and miracles and take them for granted or simply deny their existance when they are shoved in front of our faces. Those are just examples. I love the way your poem sounds like a logic problem you are working through inside your head. The funny thing is... you solved it!! Thanks for that