Young Writers Society

helo watcha this poe so gud

Very well written! It certainty describes very accurately what music is like. It gives the sense of what kind of power music really has. It is to your own power, you may do what you like with it. Though, as can be seen today, many people take that power to far.

However, in general in writing poetry, it is common, for each beginning of a phrase, to make the first letter ALWAYS capitalized. It's just stylistic. Sentences don't really exist in poems, besides for the fact that you can place periods wherever you want. Poetry is more of a flowing speech from the mouth that never wishes to end. But don't quote me on that. I just said it because it sounded poetic

Overall, it was quite well written. Just in terms of poetry, some of the lines do not always have exact meter and rhythm all the time, but even I have a hard time with that. I don't even know how to rhyme, so you're much better of than I am!

Thank you!

Thanks for sharing this poem as an expressions of appreciation for music. Without music we would certainly be deprived of a very wondrous thing. I like the way the the poem approaches the subject by by offering between it and other things we are familiar with. Also, as a guitarist, I certainly can appreciate many of the comparisons you make and share in the wonder that the poem expresses.

It also makes my perception of the comparisons a bit more cautious based on my intimate familiarity with the subject. So it is based on this familiarity that I provide the comments below in an effort to help improve the poem. Please feel free t reject any advice you deem unhelpful.

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Suggestions:


A note can take a thousand
places in a melody,
each to a different outcome.

As a musician I can’t agree with this. You see, some notes placed arbitrarily in certain positions within a specific melody, will produce dissonance which will ruin it.

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A prism, reflecting a million shades
the whole rainbow is at
my fingertips.

The rainbow comparison following the prism comparison makes the prism comparison seem like an unwarranted exaggeration. It is either one or the other. Otherwise they clash and as a reader I feel confused.

Once more thanks for sharing this very interesting poem. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

I've never read something that describes music so perfectly and the way it makes me feel

It truly is a friend for literally anyone who needs it and a place to "escape" from problems from in life.

Most importantly, it's always there for you when you need it, and there's so much of it.

You hit the nail on the head with this, all in all, a really well written and meaningful poem.

Keep it up, if your other work is as good as this, you're going places!:)

This takes me back to when I made my own music. That was a good time for me. This poem probably did that for others too.

This piece is relevant to many people that feel different. You gave the feeling in a way that is realistic and I could understand like a piece of sheet music. Most poems aren't like this one, but that is a good quality.

Music is a interesting topic to talk about. Everyone feels different about it, but this is easy and calming. You keep the flow and theme throughout it all.

Keep it up!
~S.M.Locke~

Thank you. This really takes me back to the kind of nights when I just listen to music to feel synchronized with something.

I don't find any errors in this poem for I am critiquing this poem not for its errors but its qualities. A lot of poems are based on the feelings of a single individual. In other words, most people can't really relate to it properly. But this poem I'm sure is a perfect description for the feeling anyone gets from music.

If I'm not wrong, you've described music as your companion. In truth, even I sometimes feel like it is a companion. A companion that reminds you that you are your own friend.

Another element of the poem that was well done was. Well, you didn't ever stray from the theme of the poem. In simpler words. Throughout the poem I was convinced that it was music that was being talked about. It didn't feel like you were talking about something else.

Here is why I think so.

"A pen pal, who listens to me"

"A note can take a thousand
places in a melody"

"A rhythm creates
a second beat for
my heart"

and,

"A chord can lead to so many
progressions"

I noticed that in all these lines there is a relation to music. It was well placed and timed as this ensured that your main idea would never fade.

Another thing done well was your descriptions, Oh My!

"A rhythm creates
a second beat for
my heart"

This gives me such a vivid image you have no idea.

Anyway, hope it wasn't too long.
Keep writing!
Yours sincerely,
Gravitem