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Messy depths of murky words

by Hijinks


The page crinkles under my palm, and

I touch the blank paper with tenderness.

Soft, comforting birch wafts up to me.

As I caress the white sheet, tingles of

smooth friction prick my fingertips.

      

I grasp the pen and let its ink flow

and fill the empty void -- I let thoughts

and syllables swell from the tip.

The white is crowded with a deep blue,

messy depths of murky words.

     

A small stream seeps from the crevice

and then a waterfall breaks through,

soaking the sodden page in emotions.

So weighted with heavy words, I can barely

lift the page to read by a window's glow.


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174 Reviews

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Reviews: 174

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Fri Jun 26, 2020 10:24 pm
JesseWrites wrote a review...



Hello there,

The terms used give off a feeling of reminiscence because of the way it describes writing, some parts even seem sweet by how it's said and laid out. Reminds me of writing a letter because of the last stanza. The waterfall could be a lot of things like tears or just ink.

Having said that, this whole poem can be taken in different meanings if the reader shows enough creativity. Really, anything can, but this is easier as it's fainter with descriptive wording. Simpler is indeed better in this case, but it's not too simple.

This piece definitely shows a lot of human features. Like smell and feeling, that's a wonderful thing to add. It gives another layer of expression and how language is used.

Have a good day,
Haley.




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43 Reviews

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Reviews: 43

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Wed Jun 24, 2020 1:16 am
Cow wrote a review...



Hello, hello! Cow here for a review!

So, I'm willing to bet this poem is about writing. That is pretty easy to guess!

I don't really have much to critique on, but it was definitely a very nice read, that was relatable to look over, for sure!

i think the last stanza is my favorite, the words you use to describe that first start off writing with a few words and then you get sucked into it and before you know it, so much has been added and hours have passed.

I must say, I also really like the title. Unexpected but by the end the poem had a lighter tone.

I liked it!

- Cow




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91 Reviews

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Tue Jun 23, 2020 10:30 pm
MoonIris wrote a review...



Hi watchamacallita,
I really liked your poem.I thought it expresses the fillings of a writer in a beutifull way. Your poem had a nice flow and it made me think of a river. It’s very peacefull to read it. I love your last line :
« So weighted with heavy words, I can barely

lift the page to read by a window's glow ».
I really don’t have anything negative to say about it.:) I hope you liked my short review and that you are doing great,
MoomIris.





Nobody wants to see the village of the happy people.
— Lew Hunter