Skinned

by Hannah

Published July 17, 2011

In 3. Gone

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Comments & reviews · 4
livelovemusic01 wrote a review Review · Aug 14, 2011

I think that this poem was simply beautiful. You were able to make it so vivid with your words, i could actually see that little baby.
The only problem I had was that until the end I didn't exactly know what it was about, but where you got to the baby everything fell into place.

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hazellgreene
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hazellgreene wrote a review Review · Jul 31, 2011

wow! your vocabulary is simply amazing - it paints such a vivid picture, I was totally hooked! I love your writing and though I agree a little with the people above (about the different lengths of lines etc.) I have to say I absolutely love it!

And I didn't exactly understand completely what the poem was about (i guess it could be interpreted in many different ways?) I still loved the imagery and you've conveyed so vividly and tangibly the sadness and almost depression in the story, it's amazing and I love it! :)

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MamaLama95
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MamaLama95 wrote a review Review · Jul 18, 2011

I do agree with 567ajt about the abruptness of certain lines. In general, I think the poem is wonderful - reflective, emotional, spiritually fascinating at times and extremely well-constructed. The flow is slightly disturbed at times, however, which creates the feeling that your train of thought is stopping and starting; perhaps that's by design, but you could consider changing certain line lengths.
Don't touch the vocabulary, or the wording - I don't think I'd forgive you.

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Ardor
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Ardor wrote a review Review · Jul 17, 2011

Interesting use of vocabulary. However, for a minor improvement you could consider how your piece flows. Personally for me, I think your poem suffers a little from the frequent short lines, and for me (feel free to hate me for this) I found that the actual meaning has left me a tiny bit confused. It was nice and descriptive, but I wasn't really sure if it had a story to it or not. But, other than that, a good poem. Keep up the good work (that should be my catchphrase from now on lol).



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