Charlotte of the Pulverized Caterpillars; IV

Ah, the joy of a quirky introduction paragraph. Very Happy Kudos to you, my dear. This was enjoyable.

Oh, silly, fickle Charlotte, always in denial. Rather than accepting her hopelessness as a monster of her own creation, she's gone to blaming the whole ordeal on that boy! -gigglefits-

But the phrasing of yours seems just a tiny bit off.

I agree! I will fix it! I'll try to find some way that works. >_<

Okay, perhaps you should tell us who in the world Giselle is, and where in the world she came from? You could say, "Giselle, my music partner, would say..." or "Giselle would say as she fixed my hair," or "Giselle would say, slamming her locker closed." Something of the sort?

Haha, I indulged myself to the point of allowing a random character thrown in with no purpose, but I do admit that a little side note, as you suggested, should be added. >_< Just to please the reader! Bwuahaha~

I'll also try to give it a better ending, just for you, Evi-love. I can't edit it right now, as I'm due at Opera Workshop class and then writing class until 9pm, but I will try to get it edited sometime tomorrow and finish the rest as well!

<3 <3 <3 Much love and thanks. <3 <3 <3

-Hannah-

Bonjour. Again. We're becoming quite well acquainted with each other by now, don't you agree?

So, this one is rather short. It shouldn't take me very long at all!

Music sometimes seems like the only thing that makes sense to me in the world. That stupid boy – he makes no sense. Stupid? But...I thought you were infatuated with him?) My math homework makes sense only rarely (comma here) and even then (put 'then' in italics) only after long hours of trying to figure out just what the teacher was trying to communicate through his Russian accent. Sometimes I can't force the words out through my fingers to make my English papers make sense. Science? Don't even bring that up. The bane of my existence.

Ah, the joy of a quirky introduction paragraph. Kudos to you, my dear. This was enjoyable.

I love trying to figure out some kind of pattern in the melody or determining if the beauty lies in the lack of a melody.

I'm being quite nit-picky here, but perhaps you could consider the following rephrasment (if that's even a word, which I highly doubt):

The beauty of music is that I can search for a pattern in the melody, or even determine that the lack of one makes it seem all the more alive.

I don't know, that might not be quite right either. But the phrasing of yours seems just a tiny bit off.

Silly, really, how much I depend on music, since I can't make any myself. [s]I mean[/s], I simply assume I can't make any, since I've never taken any lessons. Surely my parents knew I wasn't suitable to work my fingers up and down a flute or piano and that's why they never pushed me into such things. (Question mark here) I've always been rather curious, but then there's the problem of the money. And yes, I sing along to my favorite songs, but I wouldn't say my voice is anything special.

I like the first line the best.

“By whose judgment?” Giselle would say, “If it's yours, that isn't adequate, and really not fair.”

I knew she was right, but I'd never have the courage to sing for someone else. Not at all. I can handle roller coasters and I can handle heights, but baring myself in public in that way? I'd have to be generously compensated for anything of that sort to happen, and even then it would be doubtful I'd be able to perform well.

Huh. Okay, perhaps you should tell us who in the world Giselle is, and where in the world she came from? You could say, "Giselle, my music partner, would say..." or "Giselle would say as she fixed my hair," or "Giselle would say, slamming her locker closed." Something of the sort?

And this doesn't quite seem like an ending. It's more a...well, I'm chopping you off completely without at least ending on something. Again, I must admit I am irked! Alas, I shall not ramble on about plot, but at least give me an ending!

Till part five...

~Evi