I really like this, and enjoyed reading it.
“I don’t think we’re going to work out.”
This was the only thing I didn't like. It's odd, and I feel like this is not how people say it in real life. Plus, are they living together? Usually when two people move in with each other, they are in a serious and committed relationship. If they are living together (and if they're not, I would specify) then their break up would not be so vague as this.
There should be more fighting, and the sentence is awkward all together. I would say it like this.
"This isn't working."
because it's more realistic, and it's basically telling him to get the heck out!
Very amusing piece, well done.
Classy
Points: 49345
Reviews: 547
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