Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
And coming up on the last two ones.
First Impression: Well this was exactly what I'd hoped for. Great action scene. Captures the reality of a proper fight very well. Most people like to go straight into a fight but few realize that fifty percent of a real fight is spent studying one's opponent. So you got that spot on. And in general this is a great action scene although it felt like Nuddia was a little underused here as she basically did nothing but hiss and look threatening.
Anyway getting right to it,
A low menacing growl came from the bush. Spinning around quickly, Viper was just in time to see long-tail slither into the depths of the lush undergrowth. Narrowing his eyes all the pieces began to come together.
The tension is built up very nicely in these first few paragraphs.
Just at that very moment, three black thin panther-like creators jumped out of hiding, their teeth beard, and their red eyes blazing with the plusher of the hunt. Slowly they began to circle Viper and Nuddia. Thick strands of saliva hanging from their narrow mouths.
That's a pretty good amount of description right there. Just enough to visualize them but not so much that it gets in the way of the flow of the scene.
A loud hiss was heard from within the undergrowth. Looking up Viper saw a much larger scaly creator step out of the flames, long red stripes traveled from the end of its snout along its sides and to the very tip of its tail. Its red eyes scanned over Viper, making him shiver with fear. Suddenly it hissed at the closest smaller creator, the dark red fins on its back bristling with the motion.
This thing definitely sounds rather terrifying. Great descriptions.
Nuddia let out a threatening growl her eyes never leaving the lager Highdroe.
That should be larger
Viper cast a small glance at the hissing and spitting dragoness next to him, her eyes long ago turning into fine black slits. Her tail raised and ready to strike at any moment.
From the way the rest of the fight is written it appears that this was all that she did except for running into the forest later.
Viper looked behind him and could see Nuddia fighting three more Highdroes.
Here it would be nice to see a bit of description of Nuddia fighting these three.
The hot flames collided with the panther-like animals sending them flying through the air, rolling in agony, each one let out pained hisses and moans as Viper’s fire began to eat away their flesh.
That is very painful.
Sucking in a large breathe Viper shot a stream of fire towards the black and red animal, the hot flames lighting up the ground. Not waiting to see if the attack had done any damage, Viper spread his wings and shot into the air, just as he was above the tree line he folded his wings in at his sides and shot down into the trees again. Reaching out with his front talons he grasped at the Alfa Highdroe’s back leaving long red lines.
Another great little skirmish there.
Hissing under his breath the Alfa turned and ran back into the bushes being followed by the other Highdroes. Viper watched them leave, as he slowly began to glide down to the ground again. When his feet came in contact with the scorched ground his body gave way and he flopped to the floor.
Wait he didn't even get injured from what I saw. How did he become tired enough to flop down onto the floor.
And that's it for that.
Overall: This is a really great action scene here. Besides your amazing descriptions you've got some killer action scenes from what I've read so far. Now let's go read that final chapter.
Also I just realized that this was the work that had kept the green room from being cleared since September. That means this spent a whopping 9 months in the green room before it was finally defeated yesterday. But that's just a fun fact.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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