Sometimes I don’t know what to say or do around you.
It’s true, you and I are living.
And yet, I don’t know me around you.
Yet you seem so sure, like you know a little secret.
Maybe one day I can know that little secret.
Maybe one day I can be so sure, along side you.
It can come one day maybe.
Not too late for you and me.
Yet you already have your little secret tucked away.
Maybe I’ll have to find my own.
Maybe my one day is getting closer to being found.
It has to be found soon.
I can’t find it if it’s too late.
But there is no such thing as right on time.
Authors Note:
I'm a little self concious about this piece...
I actually wrote this about someone... So if someone does want to actually know what the hell I'm going on about then there is a chance the explanation will be very vague...
But please do critique this piece to your hearts content, but keep in mind there is also a chance I wont change it because of what it is about... I'd also like to say that I know the spacing is messed up, but I couldn't get it right for some reason, I might try to fix it up a little later.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
it speaks to me
I absolutely love this piece!! It is simplistic, yet conveys such a deep though process. I really liked the part about the little secret, and the foreshadowing of the future in which you find your own secret.
I can definitely tell this is a very personal piece, yet I can relate so well to it which is one of the best parts about this piece. I love when a writer makes you feel as though they have brought you into a thought or a feeling, even if that thought or feeling is there own.
Great poem, I can't wait to hear more of your works!!
Aw, thank you so much!!
I've actually written another piece kinda like a second part.... I'm still thinking whether or not I should post it though....
But I'm glad you liked it!!
DEFINITELY POST IT!!!!!!!!
I might post it tomorrow. ^-^
Yay!!! I will be sure to review if you do!!!
Here's a link to it if you wanted to review it ^-^
Come & Go
OKAY!!! Thanks!!!
It is really good.
Especially, the beginning and the ending.
No wonder you have written this thinking about someone. It's good to read, small piece and clean. But, one thing I'd love to say that, if it's a poetry, there has to be some jingle. I guess actually.
And the overall poetry is good, really. It's good to know how to write your feelings in short words. I can't do that and regret about that fact.
So, anyway, it has been a pleasure reading this. Thank you.
Good day!
Thank you so much for your review.
And yeah, I've been told that before, but I can't write poetry like that, it's always like this for some reason, kinda like spoken word I guess...
Well no worries! And poetry in spoken words can turn into some marvelous thing! keep it up!
Poetries don't always need jingle in it, mate!
I figured that out later, I used to be pretty naive lol.
I love the ending, "there's no such thing as right on time," it's a fantastic way to end an emotional peice like this. I also understand how you feel with having to tread carefully, or not being able to act properly around someone. Not necessarily a person you want to be a lover- maybe a new family member- maybe a cat, for all I know. But, it's very understandable. Hana.
It's also true how some things act as if they have a hold, or a secret over you. It's quite frustrating, isn't it?
Haha. I'm babbling, whoops, sorry. Bad habit, I suppose.
It's a very emotional peice, and... If you have to find you're own secret, don't worry too much: there are plenty out there, and I'm sure you'll be able to create one of equal measure.
It's good to be self-conscious of your work: as a writer, this is important. However, it's also important to take pride in your work.
And for a peice like this, I think you should. ^_^ haha.
Well done! ^_^ thank you for posting such a nice piece of writing! I'm honored to be able to read it.
Hope you have a nice day! ^_^
Thank you so much!!