A place where your imagination, dreams and desires are everything.
A place where you never have to grow up, never have to become trapped with true responsibility.
A place where rules are not needed nor thought of.
A place where flying isn't a dream but a reality.
This place is Neverland.
Escaping to Neverland is a dream that will forever last....
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Authors note: @Odyssey really wanted me to start posting some of my horrible poetry, so I thought it would be nice to post my one about Neverland.... :D I hoped you enjoyed it. And yes I'm quite aware that this isn't really set out like a normal poem..
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140,752 Literary Works • 673,686 Reviews
~Ces
Here for a review
Okay, so I get that the place you speak about is neverland, and that it's about you. I just have to note a few things.
1) A lot of repetition, it's not good for the style of writing.
2) Love the brevity of the poem, but it could use a little bit more lines.
All in all, great poem. Keep Writing.
~Ces, signing out.
Thanks for the review Ces! Yeah I'm not the best poet in the world, I seem to repeat a little.
Thanks so much for the review!!
~Ces
Here for a review
Okay, so I get that the place you speak about is neverland, and that it's about you. I just have to note a few things.
1) A lot of repetition, it's not good for the style of writing.
2) Love the brevity of the poem, but it could use a little bit more lines.
All in all, great poem. Keep Writing.
~Ces, signing out.
Timmy here for a quick review!!
How is it that we are talking in secret(hee hee) about Neverland and that I am [strikethrough]not[/strikethrough] Captain Hook's brother, and you write this poem? Any story you want to share there?
Nitpicks
That line seems too long compared to the rest. What if you went and made it two lines? I think it would help the poem's flow.[/quote]
Faving time and Style
Ok, so now that I have pointed out these few nitpicks, I can tell you what I think of this poem! It is sooo amazing!!
Like you said, this poem does have a different format, but that is ok! All formats work just fine, as long as you keep what is inside that poetic...
My favorite part would have to be...
That is all i have for you, I am afraid. Thank you for posting this. It was amazing! You are getting a like from me.
~Timmyjake
Thanks for everything Timmy!!! Ha, yeah I wrote this ages ago!
I agree with everything you've said here, and I must say you are wrong with the flying part....
Peter wasn't the only one that could fly. With a little bit of pixie dust and happy thoughts anyone can fly. "Just think happy thoughts and they lift you into the air!!!"
So yeah. But thank you!!
xx
Ohhh... I am so stupid... Of course! Can i have some!! LD
Of course!! *Gives pixie dust*
That enough? Or do you need more?
Hello EscapeToNeverland, I'm not much of a reviewer, but I'll try!
I'm better at grammar and and spelling than plot and stuff, so this isn't going to be a sparkling review or anything, but here we go anyway...
I think in the title, "place" should be "Place", with a capitol P.
In the last line, it might flow better if you switch the last two words around, at least in my opinion.
It seemed kind of short, almost incomplete, but the length is totally your choice.
And one final comment, Neverland kind of put me off. You made it sound so wonderful and happy, and I got all exited and stuff, and then I was just like... Oh. Okay. It was kind of disappointing, honestly. I'd been expecting something a little more original and flashy, so that was kind of a limp ending to a wonderful poem, but that's just me, so whatever.
It was a great poem, really! I really like it. Keep writing, and I'm sorry if this wasn't helpful!
Thank you for everything you said. I'm sorry it didnt end up to your expectations (no sarcasim there by the way, completly genuine).
Hello EscapeToNeverland, Cheetah here to review!
Hey, I really liked this! The idea was great and it certainly suits you.
On to the review!
I love this opening line! (Just be sure to fix the word 'place'.
Could be personal preference, but I think having symbols like this disrupts the flow. Try substituting '&' with 'and'.
Again with the personally preference, but for me 'nor' would flow better.
I really enjoyed reading this! Let me know when you write more of this not-so-horrible poetry
Thanks you so much. I wasnt really watching what I was typing, I had to be looking at the teacher, and I forgot to go back and change the symbol! Sorry! And I shall!
No worries! And you're welcome!
I love that you don't want to grow up and just stay young. Maybe if there was more adjectives to make it more real. To make it seem like you can actually feel like you're in Neverland. But over all I love your idea for this amazing poem.
Thanks!!!! It means alot!!!