Author's Note:
Okay, so for those of you who read my other poem https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=11... this was written a few months after that and it's about the same thing, just with a slightly different outlook....
So yeah, I'm still a little self conscious about this piece... But yeah... Please enjoy!! And sorry if the spacing is a little messed up... but it is meant to be all broken up like that, sorry if it's hard to read, but it's meant to have been enduced by the fear almost.
People are always here,
then gone….
Keeping to their pattern of
come and go, come and go.
But what of you?
Are you the one who’ll break their constant
pattern?
I doubt it can last all that long,
all my fault.
But you’re set on proving my theory wrong.
You say you could never leave,
even if it was what I
wished.
But how can that be possible?
People are always here,
then gone….
Keeping to their pattern of
come and go, come and go.
So how are you so sure of your,
difference?
Or do you only
hope
and
guess?
Either way I’m
hoping.
Hoping with all my
broken, fragile heart.
I’m hoping you’re right,
hoping you have indeed come to
break their
pattern.
Their constant pattern of
come and go, come and go.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I really enjoyed this poem! I like the way that it flowed and I also enjoyed the way you repeated the statements "come and go", "break their pattern", etc. I tend to enjoy poems with repetition and/or rhyme in them, for some reason, so this one fits just perfectly. I can tell that this is a very personal poem, so I'm keeping that in mind and keeping this short and all about how much I loved it!
I enjoy the struggle between the speaker and the speaker's mind, hoping that this person they're thinking of won't leave them, but fearing at the same time that they still will, like everyone else in their lives. The speaker has obviously experienced a lot of pain and abandonment, which is saddening, but adds a layer of understanding into the poem.
Since you said you were self-conscious about this poem, I want you to know that you have nothing to be self-conscious about. This poem was great, I loved it, and I'm sure that many other people who read it feel the same way about it. I'm very glad that you took time out of your life to write this. It reads like something that could be published and read over by other people our age in school!
I didn't notice and really grammar or spelling errors, so that adds more points for you!
To summarize, this poem was sad, but enjoyable, and also understandable. I've felt this feeling many times in my life. There were no glaring errors, I love the way you put it together, and I love the feeling in this poem. I'm going to give it a 10/10. Keep on writing!
Wow, this is really cool. It's just like your last peice; awesome! Despite the fact that the spacing is broken and stuff, it's still really cool, and I had no trouble reading it or understanding what it means.
Watching people enter then exit your life is sometimes hard to bear, and when it happens so often, it's kinda tough to feel normal. But, I can assure you, it doesn't matter how many people "come and go, come and go," so long as you're still here (on this earth,) you can share your happiness and sadness with all of them. Even if they leave, eventually, more people will come.
No one can ever take the place of those who have been, but they can make new places for themselves, even for just a little while.
I really enjoyed this peice, and you shouldn't be self-conscious about it at all; it's really good.
Thank you for sharing your point of view with me, even if it was from a long time ago.
I feel honoured that you let me read your poetry, because poetry comes from the heart, and in putting it up here, you're putting a peice of your heart up here for people to see and critize.
Hope you have a nice day, and thanks again, for writing such an emotional peice of writing! ^_^
It's a wonderful one. No matter whether you're self conscious about it, you wrote it amazingly. but, yes, the spacing, it's really pretty messed up but, it didn't ruin the joy i got by reading this.
"People are always here,
then gone
keeping their pattern of
come and go, come and go. "
Loved those lines. yes, those are truth, cruel truth in everybody's life, i guess?
Although, the poem is meant to be broken up and stuffs but, can you please slightly change the spacing style a bit? i was wondering, that will make it more good.
so, that's it. but, you did a good job. i had pleasure reading this.