A Broken Mind

Well you certainly made this poem a broken mind i liked how you made the two sides split apart as if the mind is broken and your thoughts are scattered Very well done

i also agree with dragon 99 " What a fascinating piece of work you have constructed here. First off I must say the visual style of it is very nice, fun to read. It adds to the feel of the poem. The poem is tried but true and certainly work here. It has a nice meaning and the flow of it is quite nice. The tittle, every word, sucks ya in. Now if there are a few things that bothered me a bit, which are quite more of nitpicks really, is the length, I love longer poems however a short poem is fine here:) also, this poem seems to have been done before as I have mentioned and while its nice once and a while, it really works here, originality is something to keep in mind as well mmkay. But I understand what you were going for. You wanted to get a message across and you certainly did Neverland. Again great work and keep it up ok:{D"

Yes, I like the similar wording between mind and mine. Also the spacing of the poem is pretty cool.

Apart from that your adjectives could be a little more imaginative- don't really like 'cracked' ideas, maybe go for something a little more forceful (can't think of an example right now.)

Another main point is that although it is probably the point, the poem seems too random. I would have started with the reason why his/her mind is broken- the reason for example being 'uncovered lies', then this leads on to the next line in an ordered progression from a normal to broken mind, from sanity to insanity from this discovered truth.

This poem has a lot of potential and I look forward to seeing if this idea progresses.

Hey Neverland!

This is pretty cool I love how, even though it is short, this has a big impact. And the way it is set up, the phrases scattered all around, emphasizes a broken mind. And it just looks really neat XD I don't really see much to criticize here. This is quite well done.

Love that last line! Ties it all together well

Good job!

I loved this poem. I know how this stuff feels. you have put it in a way that I understand

I like how you made this work. It's different, and I like different, so I love it!

Hullo Neverland. What a fascinating piece of work you have constructed here. First off I must say the visual style of it is very nice, fun to read. It adds to the feel of the poem. The poem is tried but true and certainly work here. It has a nice meaning and the flow of it is quite nice. The tittle, every word, sucks ya in. Now if there are a few things that bothered me a bit, which are quite more of nitpicks really, is the length, I love longer poems however a short poem is fine here:) also, this poem seems to have been done before as I have mentioned and while its nice once and a while, it really works here, originality is something to keep in mind as well mmkay. But I understand what you were going for. You wanted to get a message across and you certainly did Neverland. Again great work and keep it up ok:{D
-Austin
P.S, I can't tell you enough how good it feels to get back to reviewing, this poem was my first review in forever:{D

Hey there! Great poem!

The formatting really emphasizes the idea of a "broken mind"
The poem is short, and there really isn't anything to criticize.
It was very realatable, well written, and I can't believe you wrote that so early in the morning!

Anyways, once again, great work, and I will definitely follow you!
~Hadj

It's great It's short, but effective. It's broken, just like the mind you are trying to portray, and settles with me well, as I also have a "broken mind"

Keep it up