That they can't truly hurt us.
But that is nothing more than a lie.
A Nightmare isn't always lurking in the depths of your sleep,
A nightmare can hide anywhere,
and these unexpected, these living, Nightmares are the worst of all.
When they finally show their true colours they hurt,
they can be one of the most painful things.
So they lie when they say a Nightmare can't hurt you,
that it's all just a bad dream.
They can be hidden anywhere.
Is your true Nightmare lurking in the shadows, hiding?
Is mine?
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140,191 Literary Works • 673,040 Reviews
Cesare Borgia
This was a great poem, but I first have to point out some nitpicks.
I would've changed it to something more like this:
It grabs the readers attention when worded that way, I use it all the time.
[quote]So they lie when they say a Nightmare can't hurt you,[quote]
This was a little flawed, i'm not sure how to fix it.
All in all great poem.
Bye, good luck in writing.
Thanks again Ces for the review!
Honestly, with this poem I dont want to change anything. And I know thats a little weird and maybe even a little uptight. But every word I use has meaning, which once again sounds really weird. This poem is about some things that have happened to me through-out my life. So yeah.
That sounds really weird. But anyway...
omgosh I just wanted to tell you I love this! <3
AWWWW!!! Thank you so much!!!
Hey! XD
This is a good work.
There are lots of good metaphors and lines in this piece:
'So they lie when they say a Nightmare can't hurt you,
that it's all just a bad dream.'
I think dreams are a fascinating topic and a great way to make a comparison. As you have done so here. This is very impressive.
Well done.
Thank you very much. I appreciate everything you have said.
Well, this seems more like a speech to me than a poem.Too many questionmarks, your point is really clear from the very beginning, and it kinda doesn't capture your interest.The idea is good, but you need to enrich your vocabulary and try to make it work its magic.Think about it, nightmares are part of the subconscious, they are completely a part of who you are, and sometimes they are really happening in front of your eyes.So, maybe if you tried blending reality and the dreaming state creating a bridge using your words more clearly rather than using so many rhetorical questions, it would be better.Keep evolving your writing, and work with your ideas.
It's actually meant to be that Nightmares aren't just in dreams, that they can be living. And that they can hurt.
But I really appreaciate everything you said!!! Thank you!!!
I like the idea of "sleep".